May is my favorite month.
My back is hurting like Ive been beaten. Think its my new bed
. What I wouldnt do to take his bed 
..Hoping tylenol helps. I feel this warm, throbbing, black and blue sensation.
I wonder how long Ill be tolerating this.
When I get scared shitless, I get this massive headache that lingers for pretty much the rest of the day. My sister's dog managed to push through the gate and everytime I went closer, she would wander off a bit more. Talked to her in spanish, yes, she is bilingual and I am not nutty...she came towards me. Maybe cause I mentioned food, I dunno. But once I got her in, I sighed and then I got the headache. Ive been anxiety- ridden as of lately. My heart is racing now.
Ill be ok.
My brother was talking about how he has about 4 women wrapped around his nasty finger. I gave him the,
good going look. His ex, did him wrong, I asked him, why does she still wanna communicate with you? He doesnt care for her anymore. He's young, single and ugh I dont wanna know. .better be a temporary thing. He is a good kid. He wont commit anytime soon.
Being fucked over ...
Know many including myself. Changing the person you use to be, thanks to the ones that damaged a huge part of you. But I believe one becomes smarter and past experiences makes you stronger as well. They lose out and another gains. I just dont wanna go through anymore..fights and unecessary roughness with the person I love. Hurts especially, when they unleash their wrath upon you just so you can feel what they have been keeping in. I was never one to admit to hurt, Ive had many now that I look back. I do consider myself lucky, I know more have had it worse than I.
You also dwell on how much did that person really love you..and if they truly did, they wouldnt do anything to mess it up, anything at all. I wonder when did it stop? and is it possible to still love and hate at the same time?...
If things hadnt have happened like they did, I still would be engaged, leaving the country and then getting married within a year.,..we both were eager then it ended..December was just horrible for me and he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. So was I. Wasnt meant to be, I hate it.
Now I'm starting over. Its been about 3 months and so far so good. Been told, I jumped into something too quickly but I dont feel that way. All I want is a full-time well in my case a part-time commitment. Someone who understands my needs and doesnt see me as a challenge. Im just rambling on..Im happy right now with an achy body.
I dont get drunk so my journals well never loook entertaining or even make sense.
Just a lil warning, for future reading.
My back is hurting like Ive been beaten. Think its my new bed
. What I wouldnt do to take his bed ..Hoping tylenol helps. I feel this warm, throbbing, black and blue sensation.
I wonder how long Ill be tolerating this.
When I get scared shitless, I get this massive headache that lingers for pretty much the rest of the day. My sister's dog managed to push through the gate and everytime I went closer, she would wander off a bit more. Talked to her in spanish, yes, she is bilingual and I am not nutty...she came towards me. Maybe cause I mentioned food, I dunno. But once I got her in, I sighed and then I got the headache. Ive been anxiety- ridden as of lately. My heart is racing now.
Ill be ok.
My brother was talking about how he has about 4 women wrapped around his nasty finger. I gave him the,
good going look. His ex, did him wrong, I asked him, why does she still wanna communicate with you? He doesnt care for her anymore. He's young, single and ugh I dont wanna know. .better be a temporary thing. He is a good kid. He wont commit anytime soon.
Being fucked over ...
Know many including myself. Changing the person you use to be, thanks to the ones that damaged a huge part of you. But I believe one becomes smarter and past experiences makes you stronger as well. They lose out and another gains. I just dont wanna go through anymore..fights and unecessary roughness with the person I love. Hurts especially, when they unleash their wrath upon you just so you can feel what they have been keeping in. I was never one to admit to hurt, Ive had many now that I look back. I do consider myself lucky, I know more have had it worse than I.
You also dwell on how much did that person really love you..and if they truly did, they wouldnt do anything to mess it up, anything at all. I wonder when did it stop? and is it possible to still love and hate at the same time?...
If things hadnt have happened like they did, I still would be engaged, leaving the country and then getting married within a year.,..we both were eager then it ended..December was just horrible for me and he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. So was I. Wasnt meant to be, I hate it.
Now I'm starting over. Its been about 3 months and so far so good. Been told, I jumped into something too quickly but I dont feel that way. All I want is a full-time well in my case a part-time commitment. Someone who understands my needs and doesnt see me as a challenge. Im just rambling on..Im happy right now with an achy body.
I dont get drunk so my journals well never loook entertaining or even make sense.
Just a lil warning, for future reading.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I hate headaches, I'm a victim of migraines very often.
I sympathize with your story (about the relationship thing). It's so sad when you get hurt by people you car so much about. I do believe that we become stronger by some bad relationships and then again some relationships I do believe have hurt us enough to cause irrepairable damage.
*on a side note: we still need to figure out when, where and how to form said commitee.*