Apparently when I attempt to write an entry not only while feeling ill, but after strange and fitful sleep, I lose my ability to form coherent thoughts. I came back to read what I had written earlier and sat here thinking "huhwha? Those words are not the ones I thought I had written." Oh well.
A cough and low grade fever have evolved in to a cough, low grade fever, upset stomach, and dizziness. I will show up to work and say "reporting for duty! Allow me to now coff and barph all overs you. Present!" But I will show up for my first day.
The "tofu tastes like chicken that people without teeth can eat" was in response to the fact that he had never eaten tofu before and was very excited about the opportunity. He kept repeating this sentiment throughout the night. Alex is ten. Felix allowed my cousins Abbie and Alex, 14 and 10 respectively to help him in the kitchen, putting them to work as his sous chefs. They were very proud to be able to do this, and he was incredibly patient, sweet, and cute with them. It was one of the most fucking precious things I have ever been witness to. I wasn't allowed to help so I sat there watching, giggling uncontrollably. At dinner Alex decided Felix needed a nickname, and that nickname should be "Fonwax". He called him this without fail for the rest of the night.
The next day my mom got home from work and immediately asked me "So do you and Felix like each other, or is it just sex? Because he was really great with your cousins and he can cook. I like him."
Now Mad Libs from party that I forgot to post. Featuring me and Kittie.
Makeover Madness
An inebriated scene to be played by DominaNefret and Kittie.
DominaNefret: I'm going to give you a hot makeover.
Kittie: I will not make out with you! Will I look like a new love?
DominaNefret:Yes, from head to ass cheek. First, we'll brush your achilles tendon to make it sleek and indestructible.
Kittie: What about my lampshade? My friends say my eyes are my best T-Rex.
DominaNefret: They are. Applying cerulean eye apple will definitely bring out the color of your unibrows. And changing your perplexing clothes will also help.
Kittie:You don't like the way I swim?
DominaNefret: You should try and dress more humbly. Those leeches you've been wearing are so last year. Trust me, when we're finished, you'll be the talk of the ceramic mug.
Kittie:I've got my kidney stones crossed!
This is why we are awesome. Duhs.
I start work today. 6pm - 11pm orientation.
Stayed up way too late last night in order to be able to talk to boy.That was worth it. I mean, after all, he took the bus up here from Richmond and made me birthday dinner, was nice to my cousins, impressed my mom, actually made me orgasm during sex, and isn't participating in no-shave-November. Hard to get much better than that.
I planned on getting a reasonable amount of sleep after that, but at 7am my dad came down and plopped the little dog in the bed with me, and Magnolia was having none of being left alone upstairs so shortly after that I am being woken up again by her attempting to get up in the bed with me, then starting to bark and cry until I get up and help her the rest of the way in. Golden Retrievers have this remarkable way of taking up more room in a bed than your average human. So suddenly I had a teeny tiny amount of space in my own bed.
And now I am up, still tired, and my hips hurt.
Oh, and I have a cough and I think a fever.
Just how I wanted to start my first day. Grumble grumble.
Still in a reasonably good mood though, because I woke up and had a cute message on fb from Felix. I think it's super sweet that whenever we are disconnected he'll send me a message afterward instead of just going "oh well, too bad."
On Monday my cousin Alex said that tofu tastes like chicken that people without teeth can eat.
A cough and low grade fever have evolved in to a cough, low grade fever, upset stomach, and dizziness. I will show up to work and say "reporting for duty! Allow me to now coff and barph all overs you. Present!" But I will show up for my first day.
The "tofu tastes like chicken that people without teeth can eat" was in response to the fact that he had never eaten tofu before and was very excited about the opportunity. He kept repeating this sentiment throughout the night. Alex is ten. Felix allowed my cousins Abbie and Alex, 14 and 10 respectively to help him in the kitchen, putting them to work as his sous chefs. They were very proud to be able to do this, and he was incredibly patient, sweet, and cute with them. It was one of the most fucking precious things I have ever been witness to. I wasn't allowed to help so I sat there watching, giggling uncontrollably. At dinner Alex decided Felix needed a nickname, and that nickname should be "Fonwax". He called him this without fail for the rest of the night.
The next day my mom got home from work and immediately asked me "So do you and Felix like each other, or is it just sex? Because he was really great with your cousins and he can cook. I like him."
Now Mad Libs from party that I forgot to post. Featuring me and Kittie.
Makeover Madness
An inebriated scene to be played by DominaNefret and Kittie.
DominaNefret: I'm going to give you a hot makeover.
Kittie: I will not make out with you! Will I look like a new love?
DominaNefret:Yes, from head to ass cheek. First, we'll brush your achilles tendon to make it sleek and indestructible.
Kittie: What about my lampshade? My friends say my eyes are my best T-Rex.
DominaNefret: They are. Applying cerulean eye apple will definitely bring out the color of your unibrows. And changing your perplexing clothes will also help.
Kittie:You don't like the way I swim?
DominaNefret: You should try and dress more humbly. Those leeches you've been wearing are so last year. Trust me, when we're finished, you'll be the talk of the ceramic mug.
Kittie:I've got my kidney stones crossed!
This is why we are awesome. Duhs.
I start work today. 6pm - 11pm orientation.
Stayed up way too late last night in order to be able to talk to boy.That was worth it. I mean, after all, he took the bus up here from Richmond and made me birthday dinner, was nice to my cousins, impressed my mom, actually made me orgasm during sex, and isn't participating in no-shave-November. Hard to get much better than that.
I planned on getting a reasonable amount of sleep after that, but at 7am my dad came down and plopped the little dog in the bed with me, and Magnolia was having none of being left alone upstairs so shortly after that I am being woken up again by her attempting to get up in the bed with me, then starting to bark and cry until I get up and help her the rest of the way in. Golden Retrievers have this remarkable way of taking up more room in a bed than your average human. So suddenly I had a teeny tiny amount of space in my own bed.
And now I am up, still tired, and my hips hurt.
Oh, and I have a cough and I think a fever.
Just how I wanted to start my first day. Grumble grumble.
Still in a reasonably good mood though, because I woke up and had a cute message on fb from Felix. I think it's super sweet that whenever we are disconnected he'll send me a message afterward instead of just going "oh well, too bad."
On Monday my cousin Alex said that tofu tastes like chicken that people without teeth can eat.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
What does that sound like something on Engrish.com?
Interesting spelling of barf.
T-Rex is a feature?
Here's the thing about pets in bed: they're pets. Kick them the fuck out (I'm a total hypocrite here, but Wayne is really cute).
If you don't have teeth you can't have chicken. End of story.