dolphingirl001

OMG!!!! i feel like i havent been on here in a lifetime. belive it or not i have been fucking busy at work which is good cause with only one job now i need to work as much as possible. i think i work about 40 hours this week and 35 next week and my next day off isnt untill next friday and i know im going to be so dead by then but i need money cause yeah im one expensive bitch so far the year has been "ok" it could be so much better it seems like everything is falling apart right now. my car still doesnt have a radio and there is still a few big problems that i need to get fixed and my moms been on my case about getting a new car and i told her i cant cause i dont have any money and she told me if i move back home i would have money but i dont want to move back home and the part that sucks is i think i might have to cause only having one job that works me maybe 35 to 40 hours a week is nothing when you have a 600 dollar payment for rent and 100 + payment for my phone(but i need that cause that phone is my life line) then on top of that i need new shoes, a radio and whatever money i need when i go out. the money i make now is just enough to cover my rent and thats it. so either i move back home or i find a better job(good luck on that one) or have someone take care of me(yeah like that will happen i would probably have better luck finding a kick ass job plus i couldnt do that to the person) so i dont know what to do should i swallow my pride and move back home and save up or wait it out and see what happens but on a different note i was talking to my mom yesterday and she was telling me that they might add a loft to the house which is cool cause that could be my room. so i told her if she was going to do that then i would soooo move back cause it would be so much cheaper and its my own personal space cause its seperate from the house so i hope she does but i dont know. not only is work crazy and with everything else going on but my personal life sucks right now ive been staying in my room alot i swear i havent seen my roomate in like 5 days i havent been out anywhere in awhile and if i do go out somewhere i always feel sad and depressed my mood has just been very i just have all kinds of shit floating in my head and its driving me nuts. i dont know what to think or do anymore and i cant just sit back and relax cause i stress about everything i swear im going to have a heart attack when im 30. well i dont know what else to say sorry this journal was so long but i need to get somethings off my chest and its my journal so i can write whatever i want i hope you all have a good weekend and talk to you all later