Well, that was weird. I swear, men in the south fucking KILL me.
I was at Wal-Mart just a few minutes ago...on my way inside to begin shopping for fresh fruit to encourage my new-found love of fresh fruit and yogurt smoothies, vegetables to cook with tonight's dinner of fajitas, picture frames, a pencil holder for the desk, and various other sundry items that can be found at the Wal-Mart...when this happened.
Picture: Me- hair in ponytail, sans makeup, wearing jeans, flip flops and a black t-shirt with two revolvers on it that says "Bang Bang"...walking through the parking lot, minding my own business.
Picture also: A short, tan, older (think 50s) man with dirty, torn jeans, a denim shirt of the same color unbuttoned to show chest hair, a bad comb-back mullet. What is he doing? Staring at me.
I notice him right away because he's quite obviously staring at me. I turn around, thinking someone was behind me. No one. I get closer to him and he walks over to me.
This is our conversation:
Him: I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything...
Me: (interrupting) Too Late!
Him:...but it's not often that I get to see such a pretty girl walking through the parking lot with such a pretty little baby face smile...
Me: DEFINITELY too late.
Him: Can I steal you?
Me: In the unlikely event that you would succeed in doing that, which, mind you, you wouldn't because I would definitely kick your sorry old ass, my boyfriend the cop would most assuredly FIND you... and me... and then he'd kill you.
Him: So I suppose that's a no, then?
Me: No, it's an absofuckinglutley HELL no.
And, when I came out of Wal-Mart, guess who was parked a few spaces from my car, watching for me again...and who stared at me the ENTIRE time I was putting groceries in my car? Yea, creepy fucker. If he would have followed me home, I probably would have shot him.
Can't a girl just fucking go to WalMart these days?
In other news...if the world doesn't end when our two sparkling, powerful personalities collide...maybe, if you are good boys and girls...Libella and I will provide you with exclusive rights to the photos documenting my attendance at her "Sugar and Spice" Party this Saturday.
Oh, and guess who just won five 22"x28" Ansel Adams' "The Mural Project" prints from Ebay for $8 including shipping and handling? Oh yea, I sure did.
Those are going to look fabulously awesome in my new dining room at our new place, and will match the four other Ansel Adams' "The Mural Project" prints that can be found in our living room. Black and white photographic genius...and "The Mural Project" features photos specifically of things found in my FAVORITE part of the US...the southwest.
I was at Wal-Mart just a few minutes ago...on my way inside to begin shopping for fresh fruit to encourage my new-found love of fresh fruit and yogurt smoothies, vegetables to cook with tonight's dinner of fajitas, picture frames, a pencil holder for the desk, and various other sundry items that can be found at the Wal-Mart...when this happened.
Picture: Me- hair in ponytail, sans makeup, wearing jeans, flip flops and a black t-shirt with two revolvers on it that says "Bang Bang"...walking through the parking lot, minding my own business.
Picture also: A short, tan, older (think 50s) man with dirty, torn jeans, a denim shirt of the same color unbuttoned to show chest hair, a bad comb-back mullet. What is he doing? Staring at me.
I notice him right away because he's quite obviously staring at me. I turn around, thinking someone was behind me. No one. I get closer to him and he walks over to me.
This is our conversation:
Him: I don't want you to think I'm weird or anything...
Me: (interrupting) Too Late!
Him:...but it's not often that I get to see such a pretty girl walking through the parking lot with such a pretty little baby face smile...
Me: DEFINITELY too late.
Him: Can I steal you?
Me: In the unlikely event that you would succeed in doing that, which, mind you, you wouldn't because I would definitely kick your sorry old ass, my boyfriend the cop would most assuredly FIND you... and me... and then he'd kill you.
Him: So I suppose that's a no, then?
Me: No, it's an absofuckinglutley HELL no.
And, when I came out of Wal-Mart, guess who was parked a few spaces from my car, watching for me again...and who stared at me the ENTIRE time I was putting groceries in my car? Yea, creepy fucker. If he would have followed me home, I probably would have shot him.
Can't a girl just fucking go to WalMart these days?
In other news...if the world doesn't end when our two sparkling, powerful personalities collide...maybe, if you are good boys and girls...Libella and I will provide you with exclusive rights to the photos documenting my attendance at her "Sugar and Spice" Party this Saturday.
Oh, and guess who just won five 22"x28" Ansel Adams' "The Mural Project" prints from Ebay for $8 including shipping and handling? Oh yea, I sure did.
Those are going to look fabulously awesome in my new dining room at our new place, and will match the four other Ansel Adams' "The Mural Project" prints that can be found in our living room. Black and white photographic genius...and "The Mural Project" features photos specifically of things found in my FAVORITE part of the US...the southwest.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
delirium_faerie:
yeah, that sounds like wal-mart. a few years ago they built a mall near where i live. this mall had been planned for at least 15 years before that, but my mom and i went by and they were doing free makeovers. they did way too much blush on me and i felt like a drag queen and as i was walking out, this man leaned in really close and went "uhhnnnnnn" fucking creepy ass southern trashy guys.
addlepatedwight:
