dollbabyamy

I've come to a conclusion about Brandi and her relationship with the married asshole.

A very unfortunate chain of events have brought me to the conclusion that as long as Chris is in the picture, I am not going to be able to be. Not because he is convincing her to push me away, but because I now have a real, valid reason to want to distance MYSELF from HER, which I never thought would happen.
They stayed in Lebanon, here, this weekend. They went to the bar where Jessi works. Now, you would think, after everything that happened LAST time they went to see Jessi, that they would go somewhere else, or at least Brandi would've asked Chris to FINALLY mind his manners. You'd think. Of course, that's what makes US all different from Chris and Brandi. We think. Chris walked over to Jessi, grabbed her arm with one hand, and put his other hand on the back of her neck and squeezed. Hard. To the point that Jessi was wincing in pain and STRANGERS in the bar had to come to her aid to get him away. Hard enough that her neck was tender the following day AND she had bruises. She elbowed him and managed to get out of his grip, but not before he whispered to her, "So what're you gonna do? Kick me out? Remember, you won't do that to Brandi." (Now, please keep in mind if that had been ME, there would've not only been a bar fight, but assault charges and all kinds of other fun stuff...but that's beside the point.)
Now, as if that weren't bad enough, to add insult to injury (literally), Jessi looked at Brandi and told her that was rude and disrespectful as well as painful, and Brandi laughed in her face, told her she exaggerated and that she just needed to get over it and get her and Chris some beer. Right, exaggerated. Bruises. Ok. Instead of making a big scene, she decided right then and there that she was not going to ever be around Chris again, whether that meant ruining her friendship with Brandi or not. She called her yesterday, and explained all that...and all Brandi said was, "Ok. Well, Chris is still here, so I have to go."
When Jessi called and told me all this, I was at work. Probably a good thing, because being there kept me from A. Calling Brandi and telling her EXACTLY how I felt at that moment and B. Finding Chris and kicking his sorry, disrespectful, abusive ass. It also gave me a chance to calm down a little bit before I came home and told MY boyfriend. If that would've been me instead of Jessi that Chris decided to assault...with my boyfriend being a cop AND protective of me like he is...his face would've been stomped in.
Brandi called after all this and left me one of those "You will not BELIEVE what Jessi did to me" messages. But I haven't called back. I am too angry...at him for hurting Jessi, at him for taking Brandi away and making her think we hate her, and at her for being so oblivious...for just standing idly by as he is so mean towards everyone she loves...I just couldn't answer. I can't be around someone who is a friend to my face but wouldn't stand up against someone like her boyfriend who was hurtful and mean, physically and mentally. I am not going to put myself in physical danger, or in a situation that will make me nervous or uncomfortable, just to show support I don't really have anyway. I can't.
The thing that has me concerned, however, is that Chris was arrested a few weeks ago for supposedly hitting his wife during an argument over custody of their child. He maintains he didn't do it, that she's crazy and made it all up. I gave him the benefit of the doubt with that, because he seemed at first like one of those guys who was an asshole, but not to that point...but now...Now I'm not so sure at all. I'm very worried now that he's hurting Brandi, too. The relationship has all the signs of abuse except for telltale bruises, but in all actuality, I don't see her enough to notice....no one does. He also made the comment to Jessi that he forgets that not everyone likes to be roughed up every once in a while like Brandi does. Not, "Not everyone likes to play rough" or something like that, but "Not everyone likes to be roughed up"...

In other news...
The boy and I got into a tiny squabble this weekend. It would've been ok, we had gotten things straightened out, but then his tactless friend Drew has to open his big mouth and hurt my feelings. Our friend had a birthday party this weekend. I had to work, and I thought he was going to wait for me and we were going to go over together when I got home. He picked up Drew and another buddy and they wanted to go over early, so he took them. So I was kind of annoyed at that, starting out. Well, when I get there, he's kinda drunk already. So, I'm late, everyone's already intoxicated, and I'm feeling left out. My boyfriend is very outgoing and I felt like he was kind of ignoring me. I am friends with his friends, so it's no big deal to talk to them, but I wanted him to pay me a little bit more attention, too. He was drunk and all that, so he didn't realize what I was wanting, either. Finally, we got some time by ourselves for a minute and he asked if I was mad and what was wrong, and we talked about it and things were fine. He didn't realize I was feeling left out and I didn't tell him until then. We decided we would go home and hang out by ourselves for a little while, to make up for it.
He went inside to tell everyone bye, and I all I could hear was Drew say, "Oh, Amy's ready to go now, so we have to go. If we don't leave when she says, he'll be divorced by the end of the night." So, my feelings got hurt, and that just spiraled the being ignored thing. I flew out of there and got home and dissolved in tears. I hadn't had the best day at work, I was tired, and now we were fighting over something totally stupid. He came home a few minutes later, when I'm drying my eyes and trying to pretend I'm over it.
Instead of saying how I was wrong, that I was over-reacting and crazy, that he wasn't going to be one of those whipped boyfriends,- all those things he would be validated in saying at this point, he grabs me, wipes away my tears and says, "Please don't be mad at me...why are you crying? I thought we were alright when we went in to tell everyone bye?" Between sobs I told him that we were, but then Drew made that comment and I didn't want to make his friends think I had him whipped (all the totally neurotic girl in relationship stuff)...and he just says, "It doesn't matter what he or anyone else says. I love you. Dont' forget that. I'm sorry I upset you. Please don't cry. You have no reason to because I love you. I don't care what Drew says, he doesn't know how we are."

*Sigh* I remember this episode of Scrubs where Carla tells Elliot that the way to make a relationship work is to not let your significant other "see your neurotic"...you let them think you don't have any little idiosyncracies (hers was she didn't know if there was a cat heaven or not... ). I love that part of that episode because it's so true!!

I've only shown my neurotic once so far, and that was the other night. I'm still good, right?

I him!