You all don't know this, but I'm such a nerd about this journal, and making sure I say everything I want you to know, that I will pre-write on scraps of paper while I'm sitting at work. It's a hectic scribbling of "Make sure I don't forget this important nonesense" kind of deal. I had a few other things already written down to write about a few days ago, some not-so-important stuff that is suddenly going to have to take a back seat. Big things have happened, boys and girls. BIG THINGS.
IT ALL STARTS WITH A VACUUM...
At work on Saturday, my boss apprehended a crackhead guy for trying to walk out the door with a Dyson vacuum that he didn't pay for. Sucks for him that we're undercover and he walked right past my boss. For those of you who aren't up to date on your vacuum knowledge- Dyson's are pretty top notch. They start at around $500 and go up to around $900. The guy also wasn't up to date on his vacuum knowledge- he grabbed a $600 vac and told us he was planning to sell it for anything he could get for it- $50, $100...whatever. So, when we informed him he picked up a felony when he picked up that vac, he kinda lost it a bit....he got the crackhead twitch and all. After taking off his pants and exposing himself to my boss and myself- he started begging for a break. He actually thought after making my boss sprint through a parking lot, then exposing himself that if he asked my boss to go downstairs and get a cheaper vacuum and tell the cops that he stole that one instead, we'd lie and cut him a deal. Even if he wouldn't have caused all that trouble, we wouldn't have cut him a break.
CRACKHEADS ARE FUN...
Especially crackhead prostitutes. They twitch a lot when their boosting merchandise- they get nervous and can't help it. Guess which Dollbaby managed a credit card fraud case that managed $1800 in damages? Oh yea, I sure did, bitches. It turned out to involve a stolen car AND identity. Then she decides it would be super cool of her to ditch her crack pipe and a rock in my office when she's going to jail...which we promptly fine. Then she confessed to being a prostitute AND got smacked with paraphanalia AND possession. She's facing like, 15 years or so. The funniest part? When I was going through the merch and found a pair of boxers with dollar signs all over them and a band that says "Show me the money." When asked who they were for...yes, you all are right...her pimp. I nearly died trying to hold in my laughter.
THE CULMINATION OF THE EVENING...
happened after work. He finally said it- those three words we've been dancing around for a few months. "I love you". I almost cried- maybe cuz I'm ragging...maybe because he said it first...maybe because it caught me off guard... maybe because I thought I loved him and he didn't love me...but it was the best moment. What started this conversation? He said he wanted a sofa. I said something about "Let's just get one from my house, I'm only there a few nights a week, I'm not using them"...and then he started telling me how he's been thinking about asking me to move in with him. I got really quiet and said, "really? Are you serious?" He said "Yes. I don't tell you my feelings much, but I do love you. And I want you here all the time."
So, I told my parents. As soon as we get everything figured out- where the extra furniture and stuff is going- my parents are probably going to sell my place. We're still trying to come up with a calm way to tell his parents. They're very traditional...they won't positively FLIP out, but they'll be way less supportive. Ideas, anyone?
I was going to write about all my regularly scheduled stuff, now, but I think I'll just touch on each briefly.
TURN SIGNALS- USE THEM, fuckers! The first person that causes me to have an accident because they don't use turn signals WILL get a kick in the teeth.
RALPHIE MAY...was really hilarious. If you can download some of his stuff- listen to it. You won't be disappointed.
LOST...Ian Somerhalder's character DIED. Now who am I gonna look at? Anyone have any theories what's gonna happen in the season finale?
THIRD WATCH...so Sasha's pregnant- gets shot in the stomach, loses the baby...and Ty just comes right back to her? After she lied to him like that. And, my favorite character on the show has some kind of cancer. If SHE dies, I'll quit watching TV altogether.
THERMA CARE HEAT PATCHES...rock my world. They make them for knees AND for cramps. I swear, that's all that's wrong with me. Slap some sticky thing with warm rocks on and I'm happy as a clam.
Alright guys and girls, that's it for now. My life is going soooo sooo wonderful right now...I love it. I love him. I love everything.
IT ALL STARTS WITH A VACUUM...
At work on Saturday, my boss apprehended a crackhead guy for trying to walk out the door with a Dyson vacuum that he didn't pay for. Sucks for him that we're undercover and he walked right past my boss. For those of you who aren't up to date on your vacuum knowledge- Dyson's are pretty top notch. They start at around $500 and go up to around $900. The guy also wasn't up to date on his vacuum knowledge- he grabbed a $600 vac and told us he was planning to sell it for anything he could get for it- $50, $100...whatever. So, when we informed him he picked up a felony when he picked up that vac, he kinda lost it a bit....he got the crackhead twitch and all. After taking off his pants and exposing himself to my boss and myself- he started begging for a break. He actually thought after making my boss sprint through a parking lot, then exposing himself that if he asked my boss to go downstairs and get a cheaper vacuum and tell the cops that he stole that one instead, we'd lie and cut him a deal. Even if he wouldn't have caused all that trouble, we wouldn't have cut him a break.
CRACKHEADS ARE FUN...
Especially crackhead prostitutes. They twitch a lot when their boosting merchandise- they get nervous and can't help it. Guess which Dollbaby managed a credit card fraud case that managed $1800 in damages? Oh yea, I sure did, bitches. It turned out to involve a stolen car AND identity. Then she decides it would be super cool of her to ditch her crack pipe and a rock in my office when she's going to jail...which we promptly fine. Then she confessed to being a prostitute AND got smacked with paraphanalia AND possession. She's facing like, 15 years or so. The funniest part? When I was going through the merch and found a pair of boxers with dollar signs all over them and a band that says "Show me the money." When asked who they were for...yes, you all are right...her pimp. I nearly died trying to hold in my laughter.
THE CULMINATION OF THE EVENING...
happened after work. He finally said it- those three words we've been dancing around for a few months. "I love you". I almost cried- maybe cuz I'm ragging...maybe because he said it first...maybe because it caught me off guard... maybe because I thought I loved him and he didn't love me...but it was the best moment. What started this conversation? He said he wanted a sofa. I said something about "Let's just get one from my house, I'm only there a few nights a week, I'm not using them"...and then he started telling me how he's been thinking about asking me to move in with him. I got really quiet and said, "really? Are you serious?" He said "Yes. I don't tell you my feelings much, but I do love you. And I want you here all the time."
So, I told my parents. As soon as we get everything figured out- where the extra furniture and stuff is going- my parents are probably going to sell my place. We're still trying to come up with a calm way to tell his parents. They're very traditional...they won't positively FLIP out, but they'll be way less supportive. Ideas, anyone?
I was going to write about all my regularly scheduled stuff, now, but I think I'll just touch on each briefly.
TURN SIGNALS- USE THEM, fuckers! The first person that causes me to have an accident because they don't use turn signals WILL get a kick in the teeth.
RALPHIE MAY...was really hilarious. If you can download some of his stuff- listen to it. You won't be disappointed.
LOST...Ian Somerhalder's character DIED. Now who am I gonna look at? Anyone have any theories what's gonna happen in the season finale?
THIRD WATCH...so Sasha's pregnant- gets shot in the stomach, loses the baby...and Ty just comes right back to her? After she lied to him like that. And, my favorite character on the show has some kind of cancer. If SHE dies, I'll quit watching TV altogether.
THERMA CARE HEAT PATCHES...rock my world. They make them for knees AND for cramps. I swear, that's all that's wrong with me. Slap some sticky thing with warm rocks on and I'm happy as a clam.
Alright guys and girls, that's it for now. My life is going soooo sooo wonderful right now...I love it. I love him. I love everything.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
those three words.. yeah for you. glad you waited. happiness is....