Hello loves!
I have a feeling this is going to be a little long, so grab a snack and the eye drops, get comfy, and hold on tight. It's going to be a wild ride through the myriad of thoughts I have bouncing around in my brain right now. Enjoy. Criticize. Whatever you'd like.
FURNITURE...
It's slowly happening, friends. I am, as of tomorrow, moving an integral piece of furniture into the boy's place. A chest of drawers for my clothes. It's small, but it means my clothes are perfectly acceptable as permanent fixtures in the house. I've also begun to leave hair rollers, astringent, moisturizer (3 kinds) and whole boxes of tampons...in BOTH the upstairs bathroom that only we use AND the downstairs bathroom that *everyone* uses.
Apparently, what brought this furniture move on, was the dog. She chewed up- read: destroyed- one of my bras this morning. I'm positive it was because she was feeling left out- Saturday all of our attentions were fixed on one another and Sunday we were gone all day. But, either way...my clothes are here to stay. He didn't suggest taking them all home and beginning to bring over night bags as I used to. Oh no! He suggested he clean out one of his drawers and giving me some closet space. I offered to bring my chest of drawers over.
BRAS...
I suppose it's kind of ironic that I bought two brand new bras yesterday, only to lose one of my old ones to the dog today. I discovered, after being measured by the sweet little flat-chested girl at Victoria's Secret (who gushed about my chest size, because I'm "so tiny" and apparently "girls your size aren't usually so naturally well endowed"! :whatever , that my breasts have decided to rebel against the idea that females stop growing early into their 21st year (or is it 18?). Within the last 3 months or so, my breasts have gone from fitting comfortably in my 34C bra to overflowing to the point of falling out when I did anything. Turns out I've grown a cup size and a half- so I'm a very full D cup now. And, on top of it all, I am LOSING weight! But, anyway, I have nothing but love for the Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Push-Up Bra. Six types of awesome, people. Six types!
A THEORY...
about the recent growth of my breasts. My breasts are, in fact, like goldfish. Goldfish grow in direct relation to their home. Put a goldfish in a tiny bowl, it will grow to accomodate. You don't HAVE to get it a new bowl, but it looks cramped, so you do. Next thing you know, it's grown to look uncomfortable in that bowl, too. So you buy bigger and bigger until you finally have to put it in a pond. That's how my breasts are. In about six months or so, I'll probably have to buy a bigger bra, because these suckers will grow to accomodate their new home. I told this theory to my sweetie, who very rationally asked me, "Why didn't you just go ahead and get a DD bra then, so they'll go ahead and grow now?" Oh, the things that breast men say.
Now, for a break in our regularly scheduled rambling...some not so great stuff.
and :angry:
MY BEST FRIEND...
I am fairly certain that, much to my dismay, my best friend has put our friendship on hiatus. She is virtually non-responsive in my attempts to call her or get together with her. This is due entirely to the fact that I don't agree with the current situation she has involved herself in. I love her so much, and do not get me wrong, I am very glad for her that she has found someone that makes her happy. I just wish that she could have held off acting on that happy feeling until she got to know him better and found out more about him. I also wish that she would have waited until his divorce was finalized- She didn't even wait to find out if he's even filed the papers.
I have grown up so much since my own involvement with someone who has a whole different life and family that wasn't me. Mr. Q was so emotionally draining and had me on such a horrible roller coaster for the time we were involved. It is not just because I've found love that I have changed my mind on how I feel about infidelities. No matter what Mr. Q told me, he was never REALLY mine. He had a marriage license that promised him to another. She knows all the heartache and emotion that I felt. I didn't burden her with it much, but she does know. I dont' want her to feel the same pain, and I have a hard time condoning her current relationship. Can this man be her boyfriend, completely in love and dedicated to her, while still living in South Carolina with his wife? I want her to be completely happy - with a person who can be completely dedicated to HER as she is to him. Without the worry of being "caught".
This whole situation has me incredibly sad. I don't have many girl friends in real life and I feel as though I may be losing another.
AND THEN THERE'S MY OTHER BEST FRIEND...
the one I grew up here with. We were voted "Most Likely to Remain Best Friends" in high school...wouldn't they be surprised to hear I still have her Christmas gift because I she won't return my calls? She didn't even recognize me when I saw her at the mall the other day- the sad thing is, I look exactly the same as I did last semester when we had class together.
This saddens me deeply, too. She has always been this amazing, good, Christian girl who I looked up to. Even when I was at my worst- a drugged up, sexed up, religionless, alcoholic with an eating disorder- she still called me everyday and made sure I knew she was there. She was a constant source of support. Now, I'm much more responsible, mature, reserved, happy- a grown up living a grown up life- she's pushed me far away. Why? Because she is, from what I hear, beginning her own experimentation with life- and I think she's afraid to admit that to me, because she's always been so...good.
MY KNEE...
still is hurting and stiffening up a lot. I have not told anyone how scared this makes me...so I'll just go ahead and tell you all. Let us hypothesize that my knee is truly damaged- then the battery of physical tests facing me at the Police Training Academy and (hopefully) the Federal Training Academy later in life- will be impossibilities. This would then leave me with absolutely no options that I'm interested in doing, at least, no options I can think of right now. I'm sure I'm over-reacting, but this is my future we're discussing. I have to be able to not only have but RELY on my physical prowess. I'm going to the gym tomorrow to work out and then maybe I'll sit in the steam room or hot tub to work out my muscles a little. I will definitely be sure to add a leg conditioning routine to my workout. If I can help it even a little bit, I will succeed at my goal.
And on to some more dumb things....
MY HAIR..
I am *dreadfully* tired of my plain, long, stick straight, brown hair. I am in DIRE need of suggestions! I'm thinking I want something with some tousled, sexy bed head type curls- something like Eva Mendez has. I'd post a pic but we all know I'm too computer illiterate for that. My hair is sooooo straight though, I'd have to get a body wave or perm to do that- and I want it really lose wavy- not bouncy curly. HELP!
Love,
ME.
PS. I bought a Periodic Table of Elements shirt AND a very cool ACDC Back in Black shirt today at Gadzooks. The ACDC shirt will go from being super cool to wicked rad once I take some scissors to it.
PS 2. Chick-Fil-A has a new "Trim Trio" Combo- grilled Chicken, fresh fruit bowl, and a drink. It really rocks my socks. I can FINALLY eat healthy at work.! Woo Hoo!
PS 3. I LOVE LUV LOVE LUV my cop!
I have a feeling this is going to be a little long, so grab a snack and the eye drops, get comfy, and hold on tight. It's going to be a wild ride through the myriad of thoughts I have bouncing around in my brain right now. Enjoy. Criticize. Whatever you'd like.
FURNITURE...
It's slowly happening, friends. I am, as of tomorrow, moving an integral piece of furniture into the boy's place. A chest of drawers for my clothes. It's small, but it means my clothes are perfectly acceptable as permanent fixtures in the house. I've also begun to leave hair rollers, astringent, moisturizer (3 kinds) and whole boxes of tampons...in BOTH the upstairs bathroom that only we use AND the downstairs bathroom that *everyone* uses.
Apparently, what brought this furniture move on, was the dog. She chewed up- read: destroyed- one of my bras this morning. I'm positive it was because she was feeling left out- Saturday all of our attentions were fixed on one another and Sunday we were gone all day. But, either way...my clothes are here to stay. He didn't suggest taking them all home and beginning to bring over night bags as I used to. Oh no! He suggested he clean out one of his drawers and giving me some closet space. I offered to bring my chest of drawers over.
BRAS...
I suppose it's kind of ironic that I bought two brand new bras yesterday, only to lose one of my old ones to the dog today. I discovered, after being measured by the sweet little flat-chested girl at Victoria's Secret (who gushed about my chest size, because I'm "so tiny" and apparently "girls your size aren't usually so naturally well endowed"! :whatever
, that my breasts have decided to rebel against the idea that females stop growing early into their 21st year (or is it 18?). Within the last 3 months or so, my breasts have gone from fitting comfortably in my 34C bra to overflowing to the point of falling out when I did anything. Turns out I've grown a cup size and a half- so I'm a very full D cup now. And, on top of it all, I am LOSING weight! But, anyway, I have nothing but love for the Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Push-Up Bra. Six types of awesome, people. Six types!
A THEORY...
about the recent growth of my breasts. My breasts are, in fact, like goldfish. Goldfish grow in direct relation to their home. Put a goldfish in a tiny bowl, it will grow to accomodate. You don't HAVE to get it a new bowl, but it looks cramped, so you do. Next thing you know, it's grown to look uncomfortable in that bowl, too. So you buy bigger and bigger until you finally have to put it in a pond. That's how my breasts are. In about six months or so, I'll probably have to buy a bigger bra, because these suckers will grow to accomodate their new home. I told this theory to my sweetie, who very rationally asked me, "Why didn't you just go ahead and get a DD bra then, so they'll go ahead and grow now?" Oh, the things that breast men say.
Now, for a break in our regularly scheduled rambling...some not so great stuff.
and :angry:
MY BEST FRIEND...
I am fairly certain that, much to my dismay, my best friend has put our friendship on hiatus. She is virtually non-responsive in my attempts to call her or get together with her. This is due entirely to the fact that I don't agree with the current situation she has involved herself in. I love her so much, and do not get me wrong, I am very glad for her that she has found someone that makes her happy. I just wish that she could have held off acting on that happy feeling until she got to know him better and found out more about him. I also wish that she would have waited until his divorce was finalized- She didn't even wait to find out if he's even filed the papers.
I have grown up so much since my own involvement with someone who has a whole different life and family that wasn't me. Mr. Q was so emotionally draining and had me on such a horrible roller coaster for the time we were involved. It is not just because I've found love that I have changed my mind on how I feel about infidelities. No matter what Mr. Q told me, he was never REALLY mine. He had a marriage license that promised him to another. She knows all the heartache and emotion that I felt. I didn't burden her with it much, but she does know. I dont' want her to feel the same pain, and I have a hard time condoning her current relationship. Can this man be her boyfriend, completely in love and dedicated to her, while still living in South Carolina with his wife? I want her to be completely happy - with a person who can be completely dedicated to HER as she is to him. Without the worry of being "caught".
This whole situation has me incredibly sad. I don't have many girl friends in real life and I feel as though I may be losing another.
AND THEN THERE'S MY OTHER BEST FRIEND...
the one I grew up here with. We were voted "Most Likely to Remain Best Friends" in high school...wouldn't they be surprised to hear I still have her Christmas gift because I she won't return my calls? She didn't even recognize me when I saw her at the mall the other day- the sad thing is, I look exactly the same as I did last semester when we had class together.
This saddens me deeply, too. She has always been this amazing, good, Christian girl who I looked up to. Even when I was at my worst- a drugged up, sexed up, religionless, alcoholic with an eating disorder- she still called me everyday and made sure I knew she was there. She was a constant source of support. Now, I'm much more responsible, mature, reserved, happy- a grown up living a grown up life- she's pushed me far away. Why? Because she is, from what I hear, beginning her own experimentation with life- and I think she's afraid to admit that to me, because she's always been so...good.
MY KNEE...
still is hurting and stiffening up a lot. I have not told anyone how scared this makes me...so I'll just go ahead and tell you all. Let us hypothesize that my knee is truly damaged- then the battery of physical tests facing me at the Police Training Academy and (hopefully) the Federal Training Academy later in life- will be impossibilities. This would then leave me with absolutely no options that I'm interested in doing, at least, no options I can think of right now. I'm sure I'm over-reacting, but this is my future we're discussing. I have to be able to not only have but RELY on my physical prowess. I'm going to the gym tomorrow to work out and then maybe I'll sit in the steam room or hot tub to work out my muscles a little. I will definitely be sure to add a leg conditioning routine to my workout. If I can help it even a little bit, I will succeed at my goal.
And on to some more dumb things....
MY HAIR..
I am *dreadfully* tired of my plain, long, stick straight, brown hair. I am in DIRE need of suggestions! I'm thinking I want something with some tousled, sexy bed head type curls- something like Eva Mendez has. I'd post a pic but we all know I'm too computer illiterate for that. My hair is sooooo straight though, I'd have to get a body wave or perm to do that- and I want it really lose wavy- not bouncy curly. HELP!
Love,
ME.
PS. I bought a Periodic Table of Elements shirt AND a very cool ACDC Back in Black shirt today at Gadzooks. The ACDC shirt will go from being super cool to wicked rad once I take some scissors to it.
PS 2. Chick-Fil-A has a new "Trim Trio" Combo- grilled Chicken, fresh fruit bowl, and a drink. It really rocks my socks. I can FINALLY eat healthy at work.! Woo Hoo!
PS 3. I LOVE LUV LOVE LUV
my cop! VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
or
http://www.evamendes.com/gallery/modeling/stills7.html