Things I've learned in the last few days:
1. Alize and Champagne make a bad combination. Drink one, drink the other, but do not drink both.
2. If your boyfriend redeems his "Free Porn Night...we'll do it anyway you want with anything you want" card that you gave him for Christmas, do not get so intoxicated that you vomit until you can't enjoy the night.
3. If you DO get sick and can't enjoy the night, definitely try to make up for it the following day.
4. If you get intoxicated, do not kiss a stripper in front of your very protective and loving (and sober) boyfriend. It will hurt his feelings a little.
5. Shopping for battery operated devices at the adult bookstore while intoxicated is highly enjoyable, particularly when in the company of your sober boyfriend, drunk best friend, and sober best friend's friend.
6. Don't forget batteries for said battery operated sexual device.
7. You know your boyfriend loves you when he holds your hair back as you're throwing up, goes and buys you ginger ale and crackers at 5 am, and takes excellent care of you even though he had high hopes of his sweet girlfriend fulfilling the porn card obligation and knew those hopes were shattered.
8. The flu this season was so bad that I will probably have to withdraw from school.
9. Professors that have not had the flu this season are unsympathetic of a 2 week absence.
10. Don't trust any recipe for pancakes if they involve mixing cranberry almond crunch cereal in the batter. It WILL taste like soggy cereal.
11. Unfortunately, drinking leads to intoxication, intoxication leads to lowered inhibitions and raises the chance that an old-now-quit smoker will smoke again.
12. When your boyfriend is at work and you want to get laid bad enough, porn is not an adequate substitute.
13. Spotting shoplifters is easier than I thought.
14. If you're in a strip club and strippers are envious of your breasts, you know you have a good rack.
15. I didn't realize how much my boyfriend adored me until I realized he wasn't enjoying himself at the strip club because I was his sole purpose and focus.
16. Thick strippers are the hottest strippers.
17. Alize and Champagne do NOT mix. I know that was my first reason, but I must absolutely stress this point. If you start out with a sweet, fruity drink, stick with those. B
18. Better yet, avoid fruity sweet drinks at all cost if you are looking to get heavily intoxicated. Fruity sweet drinks are yucky on the flipside.
19. Gummi bears will remind you of said fruity sweet drink if an attempt to eat them is made within 24 hours of aforementioned intoxication.
20. Dropping so many classes means I will be paying 4000 bucks this semester to successfully complete a SINGLE class.
21. Buying your best friend leopard print fuzzy hand-cuffs at 2 am while highly intoxicated is a sure reason she will remain your best friend.
What have you learned in the last few days?
Edited to add: I am trying to make a cd that I can work out to...I need some suggestions (techno, upbeat, industrial, etc)
1. Alize and Champagne make a bad combination. Drink one, drink the other, but do not drink both.
2. If your boyfriend redeems his "Free Porn Night...we'll do it anyway you want with anything you want" card that you gave him for Christmas, do not get so intoxicated that you vomit until you can't enjoy the night.
3. If you DO get sick and can't enjoy the night, definitely try to make up for it the following day.
4. If you get intoxicated, do not kiss a stripper in front of your very protective and loving (and sober) boyfriend. It will hurt his feelings a little.
5. Shopping for battery operated devices at the adult bookstore while intoxicated is highly enjoyable, particularly when in the company of your sober boyfriend, drunk best friend, and sober best friend's friend.
6. Don't forget batteries for said battery operated sexual device.
7. You know your boyfriend loves you when he holds your hair back as you're throwing up, goes and buys you ginger ale and crackers at 5 am, and takes excellent care of you even though he had high hopes of his sweet girlfriend fulfilling the porn card obligation and knew those hopes were shattered.
8. The flu this season was so bad that I will probably have to withdraw from school.
9. Professors that have not had the flu this season are unsympathetic of a 2 week absence.
10. Don't trust any recipe for pancakes if they involve mixing cranberry almond crunch cereal in the batter. It WILL taste like soggy cereal.
11. Unfortunately, drinking leads to intoxication, intoxication leads to lowered inhibitions and raises the chance that an old-now-quit smoker will smoke again.
12. When your boyfriend is at work and you want to get laid bad enough, porn is not an adequate substitute.
13. Spotting shoplifters is easier than I thought.
14. If you're in a strip club and strippers are envious of your breasts, you know you have a good rack.
15. I didn't realize how much my boyfriend adored me until I realized he wasn't enjoying himself at the strip club because I was his sole purpose and focus.
16. Thick strippers are the hottest strippers.
17. Alize and Champagne do NOT mix. I know that was my first reason, but I must absolutely stress this point. If you start out with a sweet, fruity drink, stick with those. B
18. Better yet, avoid fruity sweet drinks at all cost if you are looking to get heavily intoxicated. Fruity sweet drinks are yucky on the flipside.
19. Gummi bears will remind you of said fruity sweet drink if an attempt to eat them is made within 24 hours of aforementioned intoxication.
20. Dropping so many classes means I will be paying 4000 bucks this semester to successfully complete a SINGLE class.
21. Buying your best friend leopard print fuzzy hand-cuffs at 2 am while highly intoxicated is a sure reason she will remain your best friend.
What have you learned in the last few days?
Edited to add: I am trying to make a cd that I can work out to...I need some suggestions (techno, upbeat, industrial, etc)
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I totally did NOT forget about you. I've actually ... honestly ... been kinda worried. I literally deleted you from my list maybe two weeks ago ... thinking that you would never come back.
*massive huggles* I honestly thought something bad had happened ... something in your last journal (28th of October if I remember correctly) sent chills down my spine when I read it and then you were gone.
I have quite missed you hon. Now I am gonna go back through your journals and catch up on what I missed in the last few days if anything.
You just totally made my night hon.
I'm just about to pack a bowl - wanna come run away to Toronto still? LOL
pssssssssssst - accept that FR silly girl.