I made a big decision a little while ago.
I don't remember what it was, which prob'ly goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential
Even though it often might appear inconsequential
I must have been distracted when I left my home because
Left or right I'm sure I went (I wonder which it was?)
Anyway, I never veered; I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.
For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray.
And that is how I got to where I find myself today.
April 29th 1992
there was a riot on the streets, tell me where were you?
you were sittin home watchin your tv
while I was participating in some anarchy
Little Bill: It's been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen?
English Bob: Little Bill, well I thought you was... well I thought that you were dead. I see you've shaved your chin whiskers off.
Little Bill: I was tastin' the soup two hours after I ate it.
English Bob: Well, actually, what I heard was that you fell off your horse, drunk, of course, and that you broke your bloody neck.
Little Bill: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead, til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.
It's been a long time
I shouldna left you
without a dope rhyme to step to
think of how many weak posts ya slept thru
time's up; sorry I kept you
thinkin of this you keep repeatin ya miss
the rhymes of the suicide plagiarist...
once again back is the incredible... oh wait I used that one already a few posts ago.
anyway, reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated, etc.
But everything else you may have heard is probably true.
In the time since we last saw him, Writer has:
-encountered old friends unseen in over a decade
-visited various family members in St. Louis, Chicago, South Bend, and Cincinnatti
-won the lottery (well, $100 on a scratch off, but still)
-traded his winning lottery ticket for food & gas money and tickets to Crystal Method show.
-herded and helped train llamas for a day
-been to jail
-hit on a girl in jail by using Charlie Sheen's line in Ferris Buehller.
-seen a (somewhat) freshly severed human head
-lucked into a Hawaiin vacation (where his sister lives) later this summer
-been the victim of a pedestrian hit and run on the street by some guy on one of those Segway "it" scooter things (knowhumtalkinbout?)
-slept on about 10 different couches
-not slept in his own bed, which would be impossible anyway, since it's disassembled and in pieces
-shouted "FIRE!" in a crowded theater
-kissed a girl
-kissed the pavement (rather hard)
-had somebody on the street ask "Do you have any Grey Poupon?" and, indeed, had Grey Poupon in his possession
-gone on a beer run in a police car
-generally not missed having no internet access... with the exception of certain select individuals from an exclusive group of people, who have strayed into his conscious thought on more than one occasion.
Thanks to all of you who left comments, I got a lot to catch up with and then pretty soon I'll be up to speed again, but in the meantime, you people reading this, you give yourself a big hug for me, or practice making out with your hand, I dunno, maybe just pinch your cheek and say something grandmotherly to yourself, then bake yourself some cookies, oooo, and make some coffee while you're in there, and y'know what, you should drop a little bit of kahlua or baileys in there too, go ahead and treat yourself, it's perfectly okay because I said so, you deserve it, if you actually read this far, you probably need it by now.
Okay, now I really have to go because the TV in the other room has been left on to FOX News and I can hear both O'Reilly AND Bush coming out of my newly en-cabled TV set and some things I just cannot tolerate.
"I went right along, not fixing up any particular plan, but just trusting to Providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come; for I'd noticed that Providence always did put the right words in my mouth if I left it alone. " -The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn", Mark Twain
Anthony: You know what's going to happen if you go back there.
Dignan: Phoo. No, I don't. They'll never catch me, man. Cuz I'm fucking innocent.
I don't remember what it was, which prob'ly goes to show
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential
Even though it often might appear inconsequential
I must have been distracted when I left my home because
Left or right I'm sure I went (I wonder which it was?)
Anyway, I never veered; I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seems, in quiet introspection.
For no reason I can think of, I've wandered far astray.
And that is how I got to where I find myself today.
April 29th 1992
there was a riot on the streets, tell me where were you?
you were sittin home watchin your tv
while I was participating in some anarchy
Little Bill: It's been a long time, Bob. You run out of Chinamen?
English Bob: Little Bill, well I thought you was... well I thought that you were dead. I see you've shaved your chin whiskers off.
Little Bill: I was tastin' the soup two hours after I ate it.
English Bob: Well, actually, what I heard was that you fell off your horse, drunk, of course, and that you broke your bloody neck.
Little Bill: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead, til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska.
It's been a long time
I shouldna left you
without a dope rhyme to step to
think of how many weak posts ya slept thru
time's up; sorry I kept you
thinkin of this you keep repeatin ya miss
the rhymes of the suicide plagiarist...
once again back is the incredible... oh wait I used that one already a few posts ago.
anyway, reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated, etc.
But everything else you may have heard is probably true.
In the time since we last saw him, Writer has:
-encountered old friends unseen in over a decade
-visited various family members in St. Louis, Chicago, South Bend, and Cincinnatti
-won the lottery (well, $100 on a scratch off, but still)
-traded his winning lottery ticket for food & gas money and tickets to Crystal Method show.
-herded and helped train llamas for a day
-been to jail
-hit on a girl in jail by using Charlie Sheen's line in Ferris Buehller.
-seen a (somewhat) freshly severed human head
-lucked into a Hawaiin vacation (where his sister lives) later this summer
-been the victim of a pedestrian hit and run on the street by some guy on one of those Segway "it" scooter things (knowhumtalkinbout?)
-slept on about 10 different couches
-not slept in his own bed, which would be impossible anyway, since it's disassembled and in pieces
-shouted "FIRE!" in a crowded theater
-kissed a girl
-kissed the pavement (rather hard)
-had somebody on the street ask "Do you have any Grey Poupon?" and, indeed, had Grey Poupon in his possession
-gone on a beer run in a police car
-generally not missed having no internet access... with the exception of certain select individuals from an exclusive group of people, who have strayed into his conscious thought on more than one occasion.
Thanks to all of you who left comments, I got a lot to catch up with and then pretty soon I'll be up to speed again, but in the meantime, you people reading this, you give yourself a big hug for me, or practice making out with your hand, I dunno, maybe just pinch your cheek and say something grandmotherly to yourself, then bake yourself some cookies, oooo, and make some coffee while you're in there, and y'know what, you should drop a little bit of kahlua or baileys in there too, go ahead and treat yourself, it's perfectly okay because I said so, you deserve it, if you actually read this far, you probably need it by now.
Okay, now I really have to go because the TV in the other room has been left on to FOX News and I can hear both O'Reilly AND Bush coming out of my newly en-cabled TV set and some things I just cannot tolerate.
"I went right along, not fixing up any particular plan, but just trusting to Providence to put the right words in my mouth when the time come; for I'd noticed that Providence always did put the right words in my mouth if I left it alone. " -The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn", Mark Twain
Anthony: You know what's going to happen if you go back there.
Dignan: Phoo. No, I don't. They'll never catch me, man. Cuz I'm fucking innocent.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
hexum:
!! Did you make that new profile pic yourself!? or did one of cop friends send it to you? either way, Badass!
fenchurch:
Hehe thanks! Actually when I originally applied to be an SG I picked Fujiko as my user name, but then I got turned down but got a free account and decided to go with Fenchurch.