dodgerofjam

I'm going to see Rancid in November!
Can't fucking wait!


The most exciting thing about it all is that they have The Unseen supporting!




It's gona be AWESOME.
And I now know quite a few people going, so I won't be alone.
Although I'll probably find a sparsely populated corner and thrash about all night anyway.
Woo!


There's still a million wasps flying past my window. I have no idea how Mr. Matthew can deny there's a nest there. I'm just scared of what it means for the structure of the house...
The roof won't collapse in on the bathroom will it?


In an ironic twist of fate, I bought the newest Take Action! compilation today. It's very good.
I have been downloading a lot of my music recently but decided this was a good idea to actually buy because it supports a good cause. And it should act as a good reminder to me too.

I've been rollercoastering... Should that be rollercoasting? Yeh... All over the place recently.
Still.
I don't know where I'm at with anything anymore.
I keep trying to simplify things but they never become clearer. I just go round in circles.

The three mainstays of my problems are still the same ones;
Health
Jobs/careers
Girls/boys

I still don't know which of these is my biggest problem or which one I should tend to first.
I'm going to say that, for now, it's not the job one.
I can survive on my savings for the foreseeable future.

Health, well... I was at the doctor's again today.
She was really nice and brought in another specialist to help talk me through the new insulin rgime.
This is going to start tomorrow and involves having twice as many injections.
And while the doses are being adjusted, it means doing 4 or more blood tests a day too.
Yay. I can't hardly wait.


Girls. And to a slightly lesser extent, boys. [60% according to the Gay-O-Meter!]
I mean, WTF? This is the one that's getting me down most of all.
I'm not really sure what or who I want but I think that's only because I've spent so long looking for the right someone that I've widened my horizons and it's getting to the point where just about anyone would do.


But it's strange because every single person that I have been involved with has been amazingly beautiful.
I think it's impossible for ugly or even average people to fancy me. Only really pretty people seem to take an interest, lol.

But yeh, it's just been such a long time since I've had anything special with someone. Like properly going out with them.
I guess I should be careful what I say...?
Umm... Yeh, it's all good fun fooling around with a pretty girl in your friend's bed after a drunken night out, but where is that person who I want to actually have a relationship with?
Nowhere to be found.

The thing that makes it excruciatingly difficult is that everyone in my life has someone else.
They are all in happy, loving, coupley relationships.
Everyone. It's horrible.
Especially when it's been over 4 years since I've had that myself. And even that ended badly, leaving a sour taste behind.


I think what I could really do with right now is just someone to tell me that I'm lovely and pretty and if they weren't with their respective other halves then they'd pounce on me in a heartbeat.

Love sucks.
So does life in general.