doctoroctopus

What is it about you? Why is it that no matter how hard I try you never go away. You're always there, in my thoughts, my dreams, my nightmares, my fantasies, everywhere. And the sad thing is, you're there because you're not here. Long after you leave my life, you still haven't left my mind. It's fucked up, it really is. Why can't I get over you? Why can't I live a normal everyday life without you constantly fucking it up for me? It's been months since you left my life, yet only minutes since you left my mind. I think you planned this. I know you did. You knew exactly what you were doing. You were laying the seeds. The seeds of regret and desire that still haunt me to this day. You said you loved me, we both know you didn't. It was all a plan, a plan to deteriorate my mind slowly but surely, to bring me to your world. Your world of depression and self loathing. You are good at what you do, considering what you do is hollow out people slowly but surely. You put up a great front, you had me genuinely believing you could love. It was a lie, and I was a fool. You used, you took what you could, and you left. You didn't just leave a home or a relationship, you left the remains of what was once a bright soul behind with you. How can I trust? How can I care again after the greatest love I've ever known left me to rot? I don't understand you, and yet I understand you too well. I wonder how one can use so blindly, and cry at how easily it was done. You are the most complex of people with the simplest of minds. And yet I was the one who was used so easily... never again.