dnmolenaar

Well it is pretty late in the day now, early morning i should say. I tried to get a haircut today, but was frustrated to find that most businesses were closed. Perhaps I should look at the calendar more often.

Its also my last night in my hometown, tommorow im going back to the cities. And I can't say I'm too sad to be leaving. My family was okay and everything.

And I did see one of my very good friends, even though we were at a crappy party that was only made tolerable by the free alcohol. The company there was awful. I realize that I don't give a flying fuck about the assholes i used to impress. Truth is, they are all hick/jock/assholes who don't know what is going on in the world around them. All they care about is the world immediatly around them, who is fucking who, gossip, and tell eachother how much they hate one-another.

It really made me sad though cause i did see a friend from a long long time ago, who I had had a crush on for years, visit from Arizona. She was a totally different person. I gave her a hug, but I had almost nothing to say to her. We used to be Extremely close. But all i said was, "its fucking hot in here." I figure it was because i don't really relate to her at all, she does coke.... I really don't know what to make of it. But i guess thats probably the last time i will ever see her again. Sometimes i used to dream of what could have been... but thats all years in the past now.

I also tried to visit another ex-girlfriend who I recently found out is cutting herself again... I have tried reaching out to her over and over again, you know to try and start hanging out again because she is the sweetest thing (by the way, i was the one who ended the relationship, which i regretted later on) but I get the feeling that something just isn't right. She told me that her boyfriend was really jealous when she saw other guys, which i thought was pretty fucking stupid. (but it turned out to be true) ANYWAY TO GET BACK TO THE STORY OF THIS WEEKEND, I gave her a call and asked if she wanted to do anything, and she was on a boat or some shit, and then she said well, my boyfriend is coming home later tonight, and i can't do anything. Funny thing was, she seemed excited about the prospect of doing something a day earlier. I don't know what the fuck to think about that. It really pisses me off sometimes. I hate to know that she is hurting herself again. I wonder if her current boyfriend knows anything about that at all. Well I imagine he does, they have been going out for a long time now, they have probably fucked eachother. It would be pretty hard to miss... Wow that breaks my heart even now to think about that...

Anyway, going back home really makes me appreciate the people I have met this summer. Especially one girl who is taking me to the Taste of Minnesota tommorow. I love a girl that actually has opinions on things and likes to talk about current events in the world, global politics, and generally anything cereberal. Its a huge breath of fresh air from the people at home, who are for the most part, totally ignorant. (Save for my 3 closest friends, who are trapped in that hellhole for the summer)

Well i will have to get a haircut tommorow before we go to the taste of minnesota. And i hope they have cajun food there. We are going to see the band that is playing as well.

I think that is about all i can think of to update about right now.

(And of course, i have been doing a bunch of Chinese homework this weekend, and i have a bunch to do tommorow... )