Dear SG beauties.
Today? SUCKS.
I went last night to see my beloved-pond scum. It really was the best night. I felt the scratches on his back from the mystery slut and I felt sick. Thought to my little self "It'll get better". I woke up at silly oclock this morning still wrapped up in him. Happy Mox. But then a great sadness hit me. As I got up to check my phone I flipped the duvet back and SAW the scratches. Heart suddenly in mouth and wanted to vomit. Nothing like an imaginary foot in the chest to wake up to. Really hit home how much drunken fun he had had.
He'd spent the night apologizing and I really believed hand on heart that I could forgive him like last time. I tried so so hard. I really like him, so much more than I realised. Anyway, I called my dad to come pick me up (at stupid o'clock) and told my guy work had called me in. I need to think. I told him when I finished "work" I'd come back to bed like he asked for. Said he wanted to snuggle with me because of our shift patterns we rarely got a full night together.
I came back and his gorgeous little sister was there and in my head I felt like it was time I grew a back bone. Waiting for his sister to leave the room I felt really hot and sick. I knew full-well hours later I'd be in floods of tears. so she left and I told him I couldn't do it anymore and explained etc....
He said "It's your call". I rolled over to look hi in the eye and he looked so upset (eyes looked wet) . I wanted to jump on him and tell him I was sorry and I was being silly. But I couldnt move. Just told him he was punching well above his station with me. I really was a horrible character today. WTF came over me I don't know.
I called mum and she came and got me. He wouldn't talk to me after that and literally walked past me as we left his house together. Felt like total utter shit. He wrote on facebook how he's drinking the town dry tonight. And I know this includes another back-scratching SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT. I just posted on mine that my pride comes first. Which it needs to now. Been told I need to fly it solo for a while. It sucks. I think I actually may well have fallen for him. More than I'd ever care to admit. Oh Bloggettes, I can't win! Stay with someone who is incapable of keeping it for me, or be on my own and regret standing up for myself. WOW.
This is my woe is me death to you all blog. TEENAGE LIFE.
The story ends with me texting him to tell him I do like him, it just has to end somewhere because I can't handle this cheating-make up-cheating-make up cycle.
No reply.
ANYWAY! Be lucky! Luckier than me!
I'm spending my Saturday night in, because the big bash I was due to attend is actually being held at the pub he works at and I refuse to see him. Because I'll cry + probably end up being arrested for assaulting who-ever-the-fuck touches him......
Today? SUCKS.
I went last night to see my beloved-pond scum. It really was the best night. I felt the scratches on his back from the mystery slut and I felt sick. Thought to my little self "It'll get better". I woke up at silly oclock this morning still wrapped up in him. Happy Mox. But then a great sadness hit me. As I got up to check my phone I flipped the duvet back and SAW the scratches. Heart suddenly in mouth and wanted to vomit. Nothing like an imaginary foot in the chest to wake up to. Really hit home how much drunken fun he had had.
He'd spent the night apologizing and I really believed hand on heart that I could forgive him like last time. I tried so so hard. I really like him, so much more than I realised. Anyway, I called my dad to come pick me up (at stupid o'clock) and told my guy work had called me in. I need to think. I told him when I finished "work" I'd come back to bed like he asked for. Said he wanted to snuggle with me because of our shift patterns we rarely got a full night together.
I came back and his gorgeous little sister was there and in my head I felt like it was time I grew a back bone. Waiting for his sister to leave the room I felt really hot and sick. I knew full-well hours later I'd be in floods of tears. so she left and I told him I couldn't do it anymore and explained etc....
He said "It's your call". I rolled over to look hi in the eye and he looked so upset (eyes looked wet) . I wanted to jump on him and tell him I was sorry and I was being silly. But I couldnt move. Just told him he was punching well above his station with me. I really was a horrible character today. WTF came over me I don't know.
I called mum and she came and got me. He wouldn't talk to me after that and literally walked past me as we left his house together. Felt like total utter shit. He wrote on facebook how he's drinking the town dry tonight. And I know this includes another back-scratching SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURT. I just posted on mine that my pride comes first. Which it needs to now. Been told I need to fly it solo for a while. It sucks. I think I actually may well have fallen for him. More than I'd ever care to admit. Oh Bloggettes, I can't win! Stay with someone who is incapable of keeping it for me, or be on my own and regret standing up for myself. WOW.
This is my woe is me death to you all blog. TEENAGE LIFE.
The story ends with me texting him to tell him I do like him, it just has to end somewhere because I can't handle this cheating-make up-cheating-make up cycle.
No reply.
ANYWAY! Be lucky! Luckier than me!
I'm spending my Saturday night in, because the big bash I was due to attend is actually being held at the pub he works at and I refuse to see him. Because I'll cry + probably end up being arrested for assaulting who-ever-the-fuck touches him......
jaybugg:
<3 I just got home, I will write you soon as I can esp regarding this baby girl
jaybugg:
I think your current crush should now be your JB <3