KIT.
Those famous initials which stand for Keep In Touch. I never really paid much attention to them until now. And I would have never expected it. But I actually miss my medical school classmates. I almost regret secretly scoffing at their incredible likeness to uber-dorks.
It was somewhere in the middle of driving through Iowa on my way back to California, when I realized the finality of my Graduation ceremony. I rushed out of the theater where it was held in the hopes of avoiding awkwards good-byes. I managed to evade a few, only to encounter some with other people. In the end, I said the obligatory farewells to my close group of friends. I knew it really wasn't going to be too hard to keep in touch with them since we know each other so well. And we would be a cell-phone call away. But it was one particular girl I knew whom I didn't think I would miss that affected me the most.
I didn't realize we would be lining up and sitting in alphabetical order. So naturally, she would be sitting next to me. We were in the same Anatomy group since they organized that by alphabetical order. It was there we built up a good friendship which was only furthered when we both traveled to Conneticut for a medicine rotation. I spent 8 weeks with her as my partner in crime. And we bonded so to speak. But still, as her personality would have it, she rarely kept in touch with me after that. My initial feeble attempts at KIT were for naught. For I knew that the promises we made to KIT at the end of that rotation were empty gestures. Our paths drifted and se would only occasionally see each other in passing. But each encounter was not awkward from my point of view. She has that social personality that diffuses tension anytime we meet. So our occasional encounters were friendly and cordial at best. It was during our Match week when I saw her again. She was just as bubbly and happy to see me as I was of her. I found out she would be doing her Internal Medicine Residency at Loyola in Chicago. I would be doing my PM&R residency at Baylor in Houston. So we knew we would probably not see each other again except if by miracle. But still we kept our conversation light.
Well. This weekend, at the Graduation ceremony. I was good to see her again. We both feel into our flirtatious ways. But I could sense she was a little sad to see me again. I think she realized it would probably be the last time her and I would see each other. She had always wanted me to meet her family and her sister. (Her sister lived in NY and when we were in CT. There were many missed opportunities despite her attempts to introduce me). She asked for my phone number as we were sitting in the theater, laughing and reminiscing. But I was an idiot and told her I would get it from her after the ceremony. But of course the ceremony ended with the chaos of famlies and friends taking pictures and such. She ran off somewhere. I played the cool stolid guy and rushed to leave the ceremony. Afterall, I had a long road trip back to California.
So now, after having had time to reflect on this weekend, I feel a sort of sentimentality that can only be explained by unrealized infatuation. I keep denying that I like her. And maybe I do or did. Or maybe I'm infatuated because she has that kind of personality and beauty that would disarm any man. But it doesn't matter now. She's 4 years older than me. Way more experienced. She knows who and what she wants in life. And as far as I can tell by her empty promises of KIT, she only sees me as a casual friend. I can't say that I'm glad I'll never see her again. But I have come to grips with the fact that I won't. At least I haven't heard from her after emailing her two days ago. (Same old desperate reach for attention). I am not quite ready to move on to the next tug of my heartstrings. But I am hoping that the next one won't be so passive aggressive on my part.
Those famous initials which stand for Keep In Touch. I never really paid much attention to them until now. And I would have never expected it. But I actually miss my medical school classmates. I almost regret secretly scoffing at their incredible likeness to uber-dorks.
It was somewhere in the middle of driving through Iowa on my way back to California, when I realized the finality of my Graduation ceremony. I rushed out of the theater where it was held in the hopes of avoiding awkwards good-byes. I managed to evade a few, only to encounter some with other people. In the end, I said the obligatory farewells to my close group of friends. I knew it really wasn't going to be too hard to keep in touch with them since we know each other so well. And we would be a cell-phone call away. But it was one particular girl I knew whom I didn't think I would miss that affected me the most.
I didn't realize we would be lining up and sitting in alphabetical order. So naturally, she would be sitting next to me. We were in the same Anatomy group since they organized that by alphabetical order. It was there we built up a good friendship which was only furthered when we both traveled to Conneticut for a medicine rotation. I spent 8 weeks with her as my partner in crime. And we bonded so to speak. But still, as her personality would have it, she rarely kept in touch with me after that. My initial feeble attempts at KIT were for naught. For I knew that the promises we made to KIT at the end of that rotation were empty gestures. Our paths drifted and se would only occasionally see each other in passing. But each encounter was not awkward from my point of view. She has that social personality that diffuses tension anytime we meet. So our occasional encounters were friendly and cordial at best. It was during our Match week when I saw her again. She was just as bubbly and happy to see me as I was of her. I found out she would be doing her Internal Medicine Residency at Loyola in Chicago. I would be doing my PM&R residency at Baylor in Houston. So we knew we would probably not see each other again except if by miracle. But still we kept our conversation light.
Well. This weekend, at the Graduation ceremony. I was good to see her again. We both feel into our flirtatious ways. But I could sense she was a little sad to see me again. I think she realized it would probably be the last time her and I would see each other. She had always wanted me to meet her family and her sister. (Her sister lived in NY and when we were in CT. There were many missed opportunities despite her attempts to introduce me). She asked for my phone number as we were sitting in the theater, laughing and reminiscing. But I was an idiot and told her I would get it from her after the ceremony. But of course the ceremony ended with the chaos of famlies and friends taking pictures and such. She ran off somewhere. I played the cool stolid guy and rushed to leave the ceremony. Afterall, I had a long road trip back to California.
So now, after having had time to reflect on this weekend, I feel a sort of sentimentality that can only be explained by unrealized infatuation. I keep denying that I like her. And maybe I do or did. Or maybe I'm infatuated because she has that kind of personality and beauty that would disarm any man. But it doesn't matter now. She's 4 years older than me. Way more experienced. She knows who and what she wants in life. And as far as I can tell by her empty promises of KIT, she only sees me as a casual friend. I can't say that I'm glad I'll never see her again. But I have come to grips with the fact that I won't. At least I haven't heard from her after emailing her two days ago. (Same old desperate reach for attention). I am not quite ready to move on to the next tug of my heartstrings. But I am hoping that the next one won't be so passive aggressive on my part.
day:
happy birthday! 