Seriously, HOW does this happen? Just as I think I'm getting the hang of one year it goes ahead and quits on me and I have to start all over again!
Anyway, Christmas holidays right: A time for family and giving and some much needed RnR...... Well I don't know about anybody elses Christmas cheer, but when my family all get jammed into the same house together.... well, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket. Not that I would know, as far as my boss is concerned Christmas fell on a week day this year and there is absolutely no reason to not be at work (side note: his tropical Christmas vacation lasts from November clean through to February). As for the spirit of giving, I feel like if a friend gave you $400 (and several hours of their life that they would never get back) and you gave them a plastic trinket toy worth $4 (batteries not included) they might be a little pissed... So how do shopping centers get away with it? I mean if extortion and blackmail are illegal the other 11 months of the year why is it OK to rip me off for Christmas! But it's not all bad, I mean, all I wanted for Christmas was spend the first week of holidays moshing through a shopping center, where people INSIST on bringing their small screaming children, in order to spend my last months wage buying gifts that nobody needs for people I don't really like. If I was really good this year Santa* also promised that he would throw in some crippling debt (compliments of #giving and #timeoffwork), a good game of "But-What-If-They-Bought-Me-Something?" (complete with extra pressure and social anxiety) and the odd phenomena where people who seem like they would usually be perfectly nice human beings become some new breed of pre-menstrual, upper middle class, over entitled stay-at-home soccer mom with resting bitch face. Yep, Santa sure did deliver, I feel relaxed just thinking about it.
*Santa. Is there anything more creepy than shopping center Santas'? Post middle age men in full face disguises offering gifts to children that sit on their laps.... and parents who force their screaming and obviously distressed kids to sit there?! I dono, the whole idea freaks me out.
So now that I've had my rant about Christmas I'd like to tell you about New Years Eve... and if I remember any of it I will.