djani

Life feels really strange right now.

Its the worst and the best it has been in a while all at once!

Let me try to explain in metaphors:

I am on a plane. Millions of miles above the safe ground, with nothing but empty space and uncertainity surrounding me. I have been sitting on this plane for some time now, but not until 2 days ago did I finally take off with it. By leaving, it caused a terrible accident and immense hurt to someone who didnt want me to take that plane. But now there is nothing he can do anymore, and theres nothing I can do anymore... but watch me slipping further and further away. In some way I feel strangely numb and dettached from the accident I left behind, because I know it was unpreventable and necessary for my life, but nontheless I curse myself for causing it. And now I am hanging in midst air... floating in a storm of thoughts and emotions. I feel pain, sadness, joy and excitement... Outside I can already see the clear pink skies ahead of me, right there hiding behind these clouds. My destination is a place I have dreamt about my whole life but which had been unheard of until recently. It is a place unknown, misterious, fascinating and impossible, yet so familiar, gorgeous and undeniably inviting. In some ways I think I am already there. But the hard physical road still lies ahead of me... I have no compass but my innermost intuition. The pilot is still unsure how to get there but believes there is a secret way, there must be, even if it takes overcoming some obstacles... All I am left to do now is, find this way... and wait, hopefully and patiently, for the skies to clear up, my road to be seen, and my plane to finally reach its urgent destination.

See you on the other side.