In a world where who and what you are is defined more than anything by what you do,
the concept of ever having a professional enemy and a slew of nay-sayers becomes a tangled unmanageable mess to manage.
If there were ever a slight to ones character or professionalism, or anything remotely negative can be, and often is taken as a personal affront.
Welcome to the age of grabbing what you can, while you can, and holding onto it for dear life.
I remember a time when i was younger, that the image of the grown up individual who's life was engulfed in their professional persona seemed incredibly daunting and unnecessary. Those people weren't real to me somehow. Like they were faking their existence. Lying to everyone about who they really are.
I had for the longest time viewed it (naively i admit,) as pure narcissism when a person became so in broiled in their professional lives that all else took second stage. Spouse, family, friendships, empathy, communal involvement, personal development... all sacrificial lambs to the altar of status and professional achievement.
What I didn't understand then, but now I'm beginning to dig on the vibe about the process of growing up, is that as we get older things begin to slide away from us.
It's probably more to do with not having the drive to pursue and accumulate as you get on in life, and a whole lot less to do with anything as nefarious as what folks commonly harp about.
Either way, it makes more sense to me now.
I never would have thought that i would adopt the philosophy of letting what i do truly define who i am.
To actually prosper that way.
When people speak of their founders who hacked out a reputation through the hard times and built a foundation for a legacy, these are the ideals that would come to mind for me.
To have ones personality be so closely bound to a profession and public perception.
It all seemed of Abraham, or so alien to me.
Then i woke up one day and realized that I've been doing that all of my life.
I have always been defined in this manner by myself, my peers, anyone who ever approached me, and all others that had been involved with me and my identity at one point or another.
It came into focus painfully and acutely so when i stopped being defined as such, and it weirded out the entire world around me.
I hadn't ever realized why i had never fully dedicated myself to what i was trying to become.
Until i got old.
(I know it reads like ass and doesn't make any sense. I'll edit it later, and try to direct it towards a point. Thanks for reading it anyway.
)
Dizzle
the concept of ever having a professional enemy and a slew of nay-sayers becomes a tangled unmanageable mess to manage.
If there were ever a slight to ones character or professionalism, or anything remotely negative can be, and often is taken as a personal affront.
Welcome to the age of grabbing what you can, while you can, and holding onto it for dear life.
I remember a time when i was younger, that the image of the grown up individual who's life was engulfed in their professional persona seemed incredibly daunting and unnecessary. Those people weren't real to me somehow. Like they were faking their existence. Lying to everyone about who they really are.
I had for the longest time viewed it (naively i admit,) as pure narcissism when a person became so in broiled in their professional lives that all else took second stage. Spouse, family, friendships, empathy, communal involvement, personal development... all sacrificial lambs to the altar of status and professional achievement.
What I didn't understand then, but now I'm beginning to dig on the vibe about the process of growing up, is that as we get older things begin to slide away from us.
It's probably more to do with not having the drive to pursue and accumulate as you get on in life, and a whole lot less to do with anything as nefarious as what folks commonly harp about.
Either way, it makes more sense to me now.
I never would have thought that i would adopt the philosophy of letting what i do truly define who i am.
To actually prosper that way.
When people speak of their founders who hacked out a reputation through the hard times and built a foundation for a legacy, these are the ideals that would come to mind for me.
To have ones personality be so closely bound to a profession and public perception.
It all seemed of Abraham, or so alien to me.
Then i woke up one day and realized that I've been doing that all of my life.
I have always been defined in this manner by myself, my peers, anyone who ever approached me, and all others that had been involved with me and my identity at one point or another.
It came into focus painfully and acutely so when i stopped being defined as such, and it weirded out the entire world around me.
I hadn't ever realized why i had never fully dedicated myself to what i was trying to become.
Until i got old.
(I know it reads like ass and doesn't make any sense. I'll edit it later, and try to direct it towards a point. Thanks for reading it anyway.
)
Dizzle
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
toothpickmoe:
Sounds like someone needs to watch American Psycho.
bill_the_cat:
I'm currently realizing the trap we set for ourselves when we do that. I'm at a point where I know that I can't keep doing what I do for many years more, but trying to find a new way to define myself approaches the impossible.