dizz

Life is so fascinating. These past few months I have been struggling with myself emotionally. I have been depressed and I have had no motivation to do the things I love to do. A grandfather that was very close to me died this last December. He was like a father to me. I have so many great memories of spending my summers with him in Utah and living with him for a few years when I was younger. I honestly think that he was the one who inspired the artist in me. It was incredibly tragic to have lost him and I think it was contributing to my sad attitude towards life. Last Tuesday my step grandfather, from the same side of the family, had surgery on his back. Thursday, early in the morning, he was submitted to the P.C.U. due to losing too much blood from the incision from the surgery. The complicated thing about this situation is that my grandfather is a Jehovah's Witness and they don't believe in blood transfusions. On Friday my grandfather died. I saw him minutes before he passed and I was allowed to see him one last time a few minutes after he died. I stepped into the room with my cousins and grandmother. This experience was like no other. Being in that room, looking at a body that was once moving and talking and doing great things is now dead, it was so intense. We were all crying and saying goodbye to him and at that moment in time I realized how precious life is. I am so sad that my grandfather died but I feel like this was motivation for me to start feeling better emotionally. I felt like I was living in wonderland before and now everything around me is really real and I need to start taking advantage of the time I have here.