recently, i have changed. i have become a peson of truth. i now live in reality, no more fantasy. i was saddened today to find that as honest as i am with others, i have been liying to myself. i have been waiting on a life that was never ment for me. i know this now. my eyes are opening.
i first started a long time ago with the Peanut Butter Cup.
then i went graduated on to the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
now it's Chubby Hubby.
luckily i'm starting to tire of this one too. so as long as I don't try any new flavors, i hope to be free from Ben & Jerry's evil hold on me.
i know what you mean about living in fantasy vs. reality. i think my thoughts have been living in reality for a long time now, but my actions still continue to live in the fantasy world. once i'm able to match my actions with my thoughts, i think i'll be a much better person. i think that's part of my problem as actions and thoughts should be in the same place in my opinion for a healthy existence.
i am glad you are living now more truthfully with yourself.
but i am sad you are feeling pain though.
I wouldn't say you were selfish...only hopeful. It's just too bad that hope isn't always sunshine and roses. If it makes you feel any better -which I'm sure it doesn't- you're not the only one wrestling with this same realization. Divorce sucks (I know), breaking up with someone who's 'close' to everything you want sucks more (I know)...but wondering if you'll ever end up happy with someone trumps them all. All I can say is that solice can be found in some good friends, and that the potential of meeting someone spectacular is really only an incidental meeting away Hope may not always be everything it's cracked up to be...but where would we be without it. I hope you feel better and I know you will, but if you ever have the urge to hang out in the east bay, just let me know.
We`should start the human haters club, kinda like the He Man Woman Haters Club but in this club we would hate everybody. Women, children, of course men and other human life forms whom have no classification. Then we would post pics of the crap that people tend to do and go their houses and wreck havoc. Yes.....yes.....thats what we should do.
after 6 months of what i've affectionatly been refering to as "sabbatical", i got a job.
im now a kennel attendant at a pet hospital. thats right. my poop scooping has now gone from recreational to profesional. im actually really excited. a total carer change for me. i'll be working at a small, old community vet. office and i will get... Read More
Freddy is adorable. Mo is adorable. And so are you!
Sorry to hear about your week I totally feel ya though. The older I get, the less I believe that I'll ever even come close to real love. Like either I missed my window, or I never had a window to begin with and I'm holed up in some hermetically-sealed prison of my own making, or that I have a perpetually open window, but the person to love never walks by that window or doesn't exist at all. Ugh, too many thoughts, ya know?
That's the beautiful thing about a kitty like Mo. It's all right there, without question.
HAhah. It's true. I actually don't really like them. At least not the theme park ones! Infinitely harder after a gross turkey leg!!! I could have been persuaded, but nobody was willing to buy one....