So i have been waiting for this one because I'm currently going through a breakup which makes writing about this topic extra hard.
I have lived an incredible life. I am a practicing Sephardic Jew. I'm a ten year sober heroin addict. I'm a veteran. I have been married and divorced twice. I have lived all over the US, Traveled all over the world, and am only in my 20's.
The one experience that has always evaded me has been the feeling of having a family. Mine disowned me when i came out.
I have always longed for A true relationship with a partner who valued me for more than my genitals, my body, or my identity.
My first marriage ended when I started transitioning.
My Second marriage ended because i was polyamorous and he wanted to be monogamous which at the time was not a possibility.
This relationship that ended recently ended because of my identity and how it affected her.
I have never wanted anything more than being unconditionally loved. To have the support that as a Jewish women i was raised to believe existed.
Unfortunately as a trans women like everything else in my life dating, finding a true partner in crime, a person i can confide in, or just a steady relationship that is built on something real is hard to come by.
I am Bi. I usually date women or non-binary people and recently stated dating men. Unfortunately these problems exist no matter the gender of my partner.
The first major hurdle is the fetishization of my body.
Now, I am very proud of my body. I love my dick. I love my tits. I love my ass and my waist. My face is beautiful and im so blessed that Hashem has given me so much.
That being said, the immediate problem i always have to be aware of is the fact that as a person I am a fetish. Men, women, and even non-binary people often times treat me as nothing more than a hunk of meat that they can fuck in private but wouldn't be caught dead in public with.
It hurts.
It tears down my mental because i want connection but so many people just want to use me for my body.
The second issue i constantly face within my relationships is the amount of discrimination i face on a daily basis. This immediately scares most people who have never experienced systematic discrimination away. It makes people afraid to be seen with me in public. It makes partners both overprotective and controlling all because they worry about my safety. It degrades a relationship from the inside out and makes it that much harder to find someone.
That's why i can find 100 people who want to fuck me but 0 who will take me on a date.
Finally the hardest part of being a trans women looking for a long term partner is that i cant have kids or I can but its extremely difficult. Many people don't even see me as a viable option for a long term relationship because of this.
I want kids.
I want a little baby that i can hold and teach. Culturally having children is extremely important too me and i was always told that it is my duty to replace myself on this planet with a child for both me and my partner. I sit up many nights crying because i cant complete this. As i get older as well i dream of this more and more.
I know many of these issues are shared by other demographics of people but its the constant combination of them that affects my dating life.
I know there is someone out there for me that will accept me for who i am in total with no compromise.
I cant wait to meet them one day :)
To all my trans siblings out there keep sharing, keep telling your truth, and keep being original because someone will love you for it i know i do. @two @sinnabunny @stoney__ @feryn @rainn @persephonepitstop @nebula @lemon
Thank you SG for giving me this space to talk about these issues i am an activist for a day job and I appreciate this outlet to talk about these issues.
Love y'all ;)
@missy @penny @sean
