disynthetic

Heathen dreams of common needs and unshared desires often come to mind as I ponder what could happen if I just slipped through my self-inflicted barrier of limitation and self-destructive pattern called consequence. I admire patience and envy it more, as I lack it in my most desired pathways of knowledge, creativity, and experience. Now if I could just kick pride to the curb, my hedonism could acquire the left over brain matter. That would be more fun than I care to linger on. Right now anyway *grin*.

That reminds me, I need to take a picture of my famous grin in action. People hate it, people love it, but I'm glad for it. It communicates so much when I don't wish to talk. Suffer the madness, as it is the insane man's wisdom. Wisdom is nothing without conviction.

I have no desire to perpetuate my shortcomings nor do I have a desire to ultimately see my lifetime fail early on. Thought about it long and hard in the past, never took a step, but contemplated for days the consequences of such a selfish thing. If there was ever a lesson one could learn of consequences it would be to take one's own life and then have to come back and bear witness to the resulting tragedy. I would not wish that experience upon anyone I loved or admired.

So many creative ways to express oneself, so many unique ways, and yet we still have to deal with mankind's ignorance of the past. I'm scared of what mankind and it's short-sighted leaders with stem-cell research. I realize what it can do, but I look farther forward than that. I don't trust humankind with that kind of responsibility. It's like the nuclear bomb, except the consequences of THAT were immediately clear. This is not.

*sigh*

I just wanna bury my head in the soundly sleeping arms of a loving embrace. And hope it all goes away-- at least for the brief duration of happiness that is a hug and two hearts beating together.

I'm didn't even bat an eye at the sappiness of that. This must be a sign that I'm more confident in my decisions. Cool.