disynthetic

Since someone actually convinced me to do something (whoa ) I'm just going to put this right up without further ado.

I believe I feel the need to express something about myself. I have not dated anyone for going on, I don't know precisely, two years, maybe three? It's really strange. I used to really enjoy meeting a lot of new people, spending time with them, getting to know them. Those times were really fun. How could I ever forget?

As time goes by people start to seem more and more similar to the point of predictability. I feel like an asshole for saying something like that, but it is the way I feel. The places I go--now as then--start to all look the same too. Don't think it's me writing off the world around me, I'm ever the optimistic. To a fault. But I cannot deny that's what I feel to be true.

So. I consciously chose to put little effort toward finding someone to share my life with. It's really an afterthought right now. I went back to school to change careers a couple years ago, and that has been my alibi all this time. Yes, there have been a couple slip ups. I've occasionally met a few girls here and there which my blind optimism only chose to see the good qualities in, but hey, I made it out of those alive. It's okay, you can laugh

As I write, I also continue thinking about this. And this is an idea in transition. From the beginning it was a vague concept. By the end it will be a low resolution picture of my intent. And so, I honestly have to say that I know what is really going on here: I just don't believe there are that many people out there that I can be with. I've had two pretty close ones. But for every one of those I've had at least 3 or 4 dismal failures. Ha, after the last decent girl I was withwho I had to say goodbye to, she pushed me to succeed for the wrong reasonseach person I meet proves that I am getting worse at recognizing good people. It's bad. It got so bad it was the reason I chose to stay single and find myself, since myself clearly had no idea what was going on. Like some dazed drunk trying to do a simple task, I kept falling backwards when I wanted to move forward.

Yup! And if I get urges that I can't control there are always a few friends who are, shall we say, one-dimensional. Capable of so much but willing to only over-stimulate their senses and let life happen to them. Each of those is an interesting story to say the least. I've met some really passionate people in my life. The problem is they do nothing with that passion. It makes me jealous because I can literally see mine slipping through my grasp.

I've got to go to work now, so I'll just toss this up on the blog now.


Regards,

Cale.

My friend and I going to get lunch. He has a sense of humor. He thinks I look serious all the time, so when I crack jokes people think I'm serious.