"The knowledge that seeking the favor of another means the murder of self... silence speeds the path to the streams of solace that run so few and narrow."
This really made me think about my choice of actions up to now. Have I really spent my life trying to sell myself to other people? Under those pretenses there can't be any real satisfaction to be found. Guess it goes to show that you have to know yourself before anyone else can know you. Definitely, before they can accept you, you have to accept yourself and all the bitterness that goes with it.
It seems that by trying to endear myself to others I would find--no, better word, create--an identity that I could be satisfied with. It's an inequality. You just can't make yourself into something you aren't simply by choosing the people you want to identify with. It all starts with truth and reality. Well, those things hurt us more than we care to acknowledge sometimes. And I guess there's the underlying motivation: deceive others so you can deceive yourself. Because you feel that it's what you want. To create yourself in your ideal image of yourself. If others believe the lies they clearly must be truths. Does that mean by doing this we think were are God? Created in "his/her" image? Pretty pompous of us, if that is to be believed.
[Some call me self-conscious (the nice people say introspective). I think it is really just being self-aware. Truly insightful know to criticize me when they catch me doing it. They tell me that I'm going to emotionally paralyze myself if I feel the need to analyze everything. My motivation is really simple: I know that communication is faulty. It doesn't always mean what I really want it to. My frustrations and ineptitudes all come from this.]
But the real cool thing about this quote is the real message. The one just behind the mirage of bleak overtones. Solace is a beautiful word. And if anyone can help me find it, anywhere, be it a moment or a place or a person, I am already better for it by wanting of it. I think that wherever I find solace I will without a doubt find an oasis of truth. Wherever I feel real relief, real calm, that must be real. If somebody else finds the same thing I find independently of me... we will have a lot to talk about then, I should think.
This really made me think about my choice of actions up to now. Have I really spent my life trying to sell myself to other people? Under those pretenses there can't be any real satisfaction to be found. Guess it goes to show that you have to know yourself before anyone else can know you. Definitely, before they can accept you, you have to accept yourself and all the bitterness that goes with it.
It seems that by trying to endear myself to others I would find--no, better word, create--an identity that I could be satisfied with. It's an inequality. You just can't make yourself into something you aren't simply by choosing the people you want to identify with. It all starts with truth and reality. Well, those things hurt us more than we care to acknowledge sometimes. And I guess there's the underlying motivation: deceive others so you can deceive yourself. Because you feel that it's what you want. To create yourself in your ideal image of yourself. If others believe the lies they clearly must be truths. Does that mean by doing this we think were are God? Created in "his/her" image? Pretty pompous of us, if that is to be believed.
[Some call me self-conscious (the nice people say introspective). I think it is really just being self-aware. Truly insightful know to criticize me when they catch me doing it. They tell me that I'm going to emotionally paralyze myself if I feel the need to analyze everything. My motivation is really simple: I know that communication is faulty. It doesn't always mean what I really want it to. My frustrations and ineptitudes all come from this.]
But the real cool thing about this quote is the real message. The one just behind the mirage of bleak overtones. Solace is a beautiful word. And if anyone can help me find it, anywhere, be it a moment or a place or a person, I am already better for it by wanting of it. I think that wherever I find solace I will without a doubt find an oasis of truth. Wherever I feel real relief, real calm, that must be real. If somebody else finds the same thing I find independently of me... we will have a lot to talk about then, I should think.
You aren't the first to mention Chino getting plastered on stage -- but this show, he only had a couple beers. He did get progressively more talkative, and at some point was yelling about .. fuck this, fuck that, I'ma fuckin' drink if I fuckin' want to, etc. Lol. No one was stopping him. And a really funny point was .. there was a bike rack just off-stage and during an intro to a song which I forget .. he was like "A bike rack?! A fucking bike rack -- are you fucking serious right now?! Who here was like I'm gonna ride my bicycle to the show tonight -- GET THIS THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." And then he screamed for the intro, in that really crazy high, like bloody murder way. But it just sounded so absurd, like he was so upset about the bike. I was giggling.