Well, I guess it is time to update ... huh?
I am scared for the people around me. The realization that this world is not what they thought it was going to be is crushing them and I can totally relate, but telling them that I understand and that I am here for them isn't helping. I know it is not helping because it didn't help me when people said it to me.
Carrie, a girl that I met in New York and completely and totally fell for , admitted that she has been trying to kill herself. She admitted that all of those car accidents weren't accidents at all. She wanted to die. What does someone do when a friend admits that? How do I save a girl that has been abused, raped and dumped on her entire life? The sweetest girl in the world wants to leave it. I asked her to stay alive for me, if she can't do it for herself, I asked her to do it for me because I would be devastated without her. It was the only thing I could think of to say.
Jason, my best friend and business partner is giving up on life. He admits that it is too much trouble. That he would rather not be alive and breathing. That he had been thinking about killing himself. The only comfort that i have is that he is talking about it. I am hoping that his talking means "Steve, talk me out of it." So, what do I do? I put myself out there and we step up the work we have been doing. Giving him new challenges and telling him that if one of us makes it in life, we both make it. That if I can make it to the top , I will make certain he is right there beside me.
Just last night Ms. Shi sent me a message. A beautiful girl whose company I enjoy and she is waking up to the cruel joke of life and she doesn't know how to handle it. I imagine that at this moment she is still crying and I can't make it better.
Is this a heavy update? I wish I were God at times. I want to save this world, I want to change it ... but if I forced that type of change on the world I would be raping the will of the people, but as a people inhabiting this planet, will we ever evolve and move beyond where we are?
How do I deal? I love as many people as I can and then take 4 aspirin and wear away the skin on my knuckles. Every fist thrown is a prayer " God please keep them alive for one more day."
I am scared for the people around me. The realization that this world is not what they thought it was going to be is crushing them and I can totally relate, but telling them that I understand and that I am here for them isn't helping. I know it is not helping because it didn't help me when people said it to me.
Carrie, a girl that I met in New York and completely and totally fell for , admitted that she has been trying to kill herself. She admitted that all of those car accidents weren't accidents at all. She wanted to die. What does someone do when a friend admits that? How do I save a girl that has been abused, raped and dumped on her entire life? The sweetest girl in the world wants to leave it. I asked her to stay alive for me, if she can't do it for herself, I asked her to do it for me because I would be devastated without her. It was the only thing I could think of to say.
Jason, my best friend and business partner is giving up on life. He admits that it is too much trouble. That he would rather not be alive and breathing. That he had been thinking about killing himself. The only comfort that i have is that he is talking about it. I am hoping that his talking means "Steve, talk me out of it." So, what do I do? I put myself out there and we step up the work we have been doing. Giving him new challenges and telling him that if one of us makes it in life, we both make it. That if I can make it to the top , I will make certain he is right there beside me.
Just last night Ms. Shi sent me a message. A beautiful girl whose company I enjoy and she is waking up to the cruel joke of life and she doesn't know how to handle it. I imagine that at this moment she is still crying and I can't make it better.
Is this a heavy update? I wish I were God at times. I want to save this world, I want to change it ... but if I forced that type of change on the world I would be raping the will of the people, but as a people inhabiting this planet, will we ever evolve and move beyond where we are?
How do I deal? I love as many people as I can and then take 4 aspirin and wear away the skin on my knuckles. Every fist thrown is a prayer " God please keep them alive for one more day."
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