disco

Greetings citizens.

After my short outburst of rubbish-hair-induced frustraion last night, I think it's about time for a serious entry.

And, sorry, but serious it shall be.

I been doing a lot of thinking today, about my life, where it's going, and where I've been. A lot has happened to me over the last year, and a sizeable proportion of it has been down to here. To SG. It sounds stupid, doesn't it, that a website could change someones life. Well, I'm going to tell you a little story. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

Sometime last summer, I went to a tattoo convention with my then-boyfriend. I won't bore you with the details, but the day culminated in me staying at Nadines house, along with Caz, Tilly, Vicky, and various members. I vaguely knew Caz through a mutual friend, and had seen Nadine around a few times, but the girls were pretty much strangers to me. Girls in GENERAL were pretty much strangers to me. As a rule, I don't like girls. I find then annoying and whiny and bitchy and just generally...rubbish. But, for some unknown reason, I got on with these girls. I instantly felt like I fit in. For the first time, I felt like I had found girls I could actually TALK to, ones who had been through the same things as me, had the same opinions - OK so we were all into WILDLY different types of music, but that didn't seem to matter. When one of them commented I was 'just like one of the [Suicide] Girls' it made me feel...fuzzy. I felt like I'd found my clique. And to be honest, I've gotten on better with pretty much every SG I've met, than I have with any other girl before (with a few excpetions). I don't know what it is, maybe it takes a certain type of girl to join SG, or maybe SG turns you into a certain type of girl, but either way, I have met some of the most amazing people I've ever known through this site.

:sigh:

Sorry, I'm not done yet. I don't know where I'm going with this, but here is the only place I can talk about it because 'regular' people just don't GET SG. A porn site is a porn site, right? WRONG. Which brings me to my next point. Those of you who know me may remember my ongoing battle with the member formerly known as Lukey, the boy formerly in possession of my heart. Well, while it would be oh-to-easy to blame our breakup on SG (and not entirely untrue, although I prefer to blame our breakup on the fact that he was, and still is, a towering fuckarse) I think it's more apt to blame SG for triggering the events which finally led me to see what an absolute, excuse my french, CUNT he is. It's funny though, the boy who couldn't handle his girlfriend being a 'porn star' is now trying to model for *insert (substandard) competitor here*...

So, SG, as you can see, you HAVE changed my life. And so I'd like to thank you. Thank you for my awesome new friends, some of the best I've ever had. Thank you for the many oppurtunies and experiences which I would NEVER have had if it wasn't for my butt being all exposed on the net. Thank you for ruining my relationship. No really. If it wasn't for you I may very well be still in that terrible, terrible place, and then I wouldn't have met the most amazing boyfriend in the world evarrrr. Thank you for restoring my confidence, in myself, my abilities, and in knowing there are good people out there. They do exsist, you just gotta be in the right place to find them. Thank you. I don't know who, or where, I'd be without you. But, because of you, you wonderful porn site, I know exactly who I am. I am Disco Suicide, I am who I am, and, for the first time, I think I might just be OK with that