dirtyprettything

*note* i'm not religious, do not have a thing against starbucks, nor did i just kill my best friend, but i do feel an attachment to this story somewhat. in a way, i just cut off one of my wings....what will my afterlife be?

Afterlife: Bartleby
by: Heavenmetal

Death.

Most humans have a terrible fear of it. Honestly, being dead isn't so bad. It's the dying part that sucks. And I probably suffered the most physically painful death imaginable. One powerful, resounding scream from my creator and it was over. All and all, it could have been worse.

I was all ready to bring an end to everything. But when push came to shove and I was standing face to face with God I couldn't go through with it, to come that close to The Presence after a millenia in exile was so overwhelming. I cried, hadn't realixed I was doing it until I heard my voice crack on the words "I'm sorry."

And She embraced me. It was her silent way of telling me I was loved and all was forgiven. All my anger, all my hostility, forgotten just like that one perfect moment when you get off the plane.

And now, where am I? Purgatory. It's far more generous and merciful than what I deserve. Especially since I heard what happened to Loki. Oh God, Loki... I'm so sorry. If there's any way you can hear my thoughts, please know that I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I was wrong, Loki.

No, I really don't deserve to be here. It's not right. I killed my best friend, my only compatriot for centuries. I let my pride and anger rule me. I almost destroyed all of what is. And God still forgave me.

It's hard to describe exactly how I feel. There's an emptiness inside me, mostly caused by my own actions. I still feel like I'm outside God's presence but this time I will not doubt. God still loves me, even after everything I've done, even despite what I think I deserve. What pains me now is knowing that all this remorse I have won't undo the mistakes I've made.

A lot of people have an idea about Purgatory but it's not like what you'd think. Some think it's like a waiting room, that you just stay put until your number's called. It's not, not exactly. The souls here have a chance to make up for whatever deeds kept them just short of reaching heaven. They work off their debt. How, you ask? well-

"That's one Tall Latte with low-fat milk. Thank you for drinking Starbucks."

Starbucks, where souls can earn their way into heaven. What? You're shocked? Why do you think there's so many of them? As it turns out there are quite a number of living people working here too. Those are reincarnated souls just repenting for sins in a past life. Hardly any of them realize it.

I was on register tonight. I let someone else take over as my shift ends and head to the back to clock out. As soon as I do, I'm back in, what I call, the residential section of Purgatory. There's places for us to rest and we get "mail", sort of. See, Catholics offer up prayers and indulgences to the souls in Purgatory, it helps to shorten the time they have to spend there. Well, not for me. God did decree that neither Loki or I would ever get back in to Heaven so I'm going to be here a while (all of eternity to be precise). But you'd be amazed how many people pray for the dead. Since I've been here, I've received one, just one. The Metatron delivered it to me personally. He told me that God thought it would teach me something. I unfold the envelope and read it again for what must be the hundredth time.

Dear God, I'd like to pray for all the people who died the day my daughter was conceived. May they enter into your presence. And I pray for Loki and Bartleby, especially. God, who is ever-merciful, show mercy to them. In their deaths, let them find peace. Amen -Bethany Sloane

I set the prayer down carefully, wiping at the tears on my face. I shouldn't be here.