I'm soon going to have to face the choice of where to move.... and it's killing me.
I haven't put this much pressure on myself since I had to decide where to go to college - this is driving me nuts, but I have to set up permanent shop somewhere - I'm tired of living out of a bag, and while this year has brought me a multitude of memories and experiences, I need to end the year with a decision as to where I will be in 2006.
I have so many options:
New York:
Good: loving leather family, network of support and boundless opportunities.
Bad: My demons are here, and even though New York is huge, I need to run away from them in order to move on....
Bad outweigh the good? signs point to yes.
Philadelphia:
Good: It was my home for 10 years - I have familiarity, friends, and love there.
Bad: I never wanted to stay permanently on the east coast, and if I move back to Philadelphia, I will probably never leave.
Bad outweigh the Good? possibly.
Los Angeles:
Good: If I plan on staying in the adult industry, this is where I need to be. Professional opportunities abound, as well as a good network of pervy friends that I can be fabulous with. Warm weather. West Coast. And the girl I was always secretly in love with is there.
Bad: Smog, pollution, cement everywhere. I'd need a car. Traffic (holy shit, traffic). And the girl I was always secretly in love with is there (I put this in the bad category because she's straight! ugh)
Bad outweigh the good? eh. it's a toss-up.
San Francisco:
Good: It's where I've always wanted to go - nearby to family, warm weather, pervy people everywhere... an all around yes in my book.
Bad: I'll be starting totally fresh - I don't have any close friends in SF, so if I dont get there with a firm head on my shoulders, I'm totally fucked and no better than a lost girl in a big city. oh and it's as expensive as shit, so professional pressure will be all-on to make sure I earn enough money to get by.
Bad outweigh the Good? I don't really know... maybe not?
Or maybe there's a city I'm totally overlooking that would be perfect for my energy. meh, who knows.... I should go back to living in the now, this planning thing is too heavy for me.
PS: 2005 can still go fuck itself.
I haven't put this much pressure on myself since I had to decide where to go to college - this is driving me nuts, but I have to set up permanent shop somewhere - I'm tired of living out of a bag, and while this year has brought me a multitude of memories and experiences, I need to end the year with a decision as to where I will be in 2006.
I have so many options:
New York:
Good: loving leather family, network of support and boundless opportunities.
Bad: My demons are here, and even though New York is huge, I need to run away from them in order to move on....
Bad outweigh the good? signs point to yes.
Philadelphia:
Good: It was my home for 10 years - I have familiarity, friends, and love there.
Bad: I never wanted to stay permanently on the east coast, and if I move back to Philadelphia, I will probably never leave.
Bad outweigh the Good? possibly.
Los Angeles:
Good: If I plan on staying in the adult industry, this is where I need to be. Professional opportunities abound, as well as a good network of pervy friends that I can be fabulous with. Warm weather. West Coast. And the girl I was always secretly in love with is there.
Bad: Smog, pollution, cement everywhere. I'd need a car. Traffic (holy shit, traffic). And the girl I was always secretly in love with is there (I put this in the bad category because she's straight! ugh)
Bad outweigh the good? eh. it's a toss-up.
San Francisco:
Good: It's where I've always wanted to go - nearby to family, warm weather, pervy people everywhere... an all around yes in my book.
Bad: I'll be starting totally fresh - I don't have any close friends in SF, so if I dont get there with a firm head on my shoulders, I'm totally fucked and no better than a lost girl in a big city. oh and it's as expensive as shit, so professional pressure will be all-on to make sure I earn enough money to get by.
Bad outweigh the Good? I don't really know... maybe not?
Or maybe there's a city I'm totally overlooking that would be perfect for my energy. meh, who knows.... I should go back to living in the now, this planning thing is too heavy for me.
PS: 2005 can still go fuck itself.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
saruman:
I'd like to suggest Montreal seeing as I live here and love it and all, but it's just not that pervy. Yet anyways ;-).
alexis:
Hey you... I'm free on friday night, the 16th, and Saturday I'm free in the afternoon if you're coming down to philly....