hmmm. no word back from the job at the theater department at school. piss. everyone pray for me or something.
other than that i've spent the last couple of days wandering around the city. got offered a few really cool jobs but the city of chicago won't let you work even NEAR alchohol if youre under 21. i can travel 5 miles from where i live and be a bartender but NOT in this county. so close! its times like these when i wish i lived somewhere else.
point is... I'm still a californian boy. i'm not a midwesterner. people back in cali - for the most part - just act differently. it IS way more laid back. theres not a constant work ethic like there is in Chicago. it feels here like "im getting it done im getting it done im making it to tommorow im fine with my place on the ladder" everywhere i go. apparently i come off as arrogant to some of the people here - ive just always believed there is something better to life than what is current and ive always wanted to get to the top of "the ladder", y'know? its a city in constant transcience... making a foundation here is as awkward as it ever has been 'cause i know just as well that i'll be leaving too. fuck this.
i miss california and i miss my family. i love this city but it feels awkward everyday thinking that i want to leave it. i can count real true friends here on my left hand and 2 of those guys are from San Francisco.
i'm sick of worring about things. i want to be able to do anything for Roby but can't. i try to do whatever is in my means to make her life better.
blegh. just feelin' inadequate right now.
♥n
other than that i've spent the last couple of days wandering around the city. got offered a few really cool jobs but the city of chicago won't let you work even NEAR alchohol if youre under 21. i can travel 5 miles from where i live and be a bartender but NOT in this county. so close! its times like these when i wish i lived somewhere else.
point is... I'm still a californian boy. i'm not a midwesterner. people back in cali - for the most part - just act differently. it IS way more laid back. theres not a constant work ethic like there is in Chicago. it feels here like "im getting it done im getting it done im making it to tommorow im fine with my place on the ladder" everywhere i go. apparently i come off as arrogant to some of the people here - ive just always believed there is something better to life than what is current and ive always wanted to get to the top of "the ladder", y'know? its a city in constant transcience... making a foundation here is as awkward as it ever has been 'cause i know just as well that i'll be leaving too. fuck this.
i miss california and i miss my family. i love this city but it feels awkward everyday thinking that i want to leave it. i can count real true friends here on my left hand and 2 of those guys are from San Francisco.
i'm sick of worring about things. i want to be able to do anything for Roby but can't. i try to do whatever is in my means to make her life better.
blegh. just feelin' inadequate right now.
♥n
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
drunk is fun eh?
no i dont hate you silly pants