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dirty__1

Member Since 2004

Followers 71 Following 331

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Thursday Jan 20, 2005

Jan 20, 2005
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Sometimes I just wanna hit some thing but I can't.......DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FRUSTRATING THAT IS???? mad I really more and more feel like the only reason my and Gabrielle are together is just need and pity...I haven't been able to grasp this yet...If I were in her shoes I'd be here as often as I could on my days off....So today I had to get up early as piss to go get a cat-scan we had to be up by lik 5:30...and got home around 11:30...So Gabrielle has a friend who was having a lump taken out of her breast today..it's not cancer or anything...So her and another friend went to see her..mind you..she is driving the new(used) Crown Victoria that MY PARENTS are paying for(we needed a bigger car to get me in and out of)..she has been driving it for like 2 weeks now (NEVER PUTS GAS IN IT TILL TONITE) so her and her friend make an evening of it ..she left a little before 2 and just got back @ 9...
She calls me from her friends house to tell me that now tommorrow night her and her friend who just had surgery are going to this bar like 40 mins from here(which she'll be taking MY car to) and is trying to get me to come along....I just had a fucking car wreck 5 months ago that paralyzed me because I had been drinkin and sobered up but was so tired I fell asleep and now here I sit....WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANNA GO TO A LOUDASS BAR WHERE I CAN'T DRINK AND FRANKLEY DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND DRUBKS RIGHT NOW!?!/!!!!!???? mad mad mad
I feel like an ass because she makes comments like"I'm not a prisoner in this house" and " Just because you can't go out and stuff doesn't mean it's gonna stop me from having a life"...she says that when she asks me to go she is just trying to include me....Just once when I kinda act like I don't want her to I wish she wouldn't...I mean she doesn't go out alot but it's starting to get more and more often...even though she was just gone all weekend and went out sat, tonite and is going out tom. night....I just feel bad asking her not to go and stay w/ me.......

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