Hm. Got in a fairly significant argument with my mother tonight after work and after the kids (my little brother and sister) went to bed. I brought up a lot of things that have been weighing on my mind lately, such as my resentment at their apparent indifference to the goals and successes I've had in my life and their over-emphasis on what I look like and what I'm doing in the now. She decided to go from here and charge me with being negligent to my little brother and sister and their lives not 5 minutes after we discussed how uninvolved my older brother has been in everyone's life since I was their age. It was quite a leap for me to see how she could be so apologetic and accepting of my older brother's ways, yet not be happy or satisfied enough with any amount of time or energy that I put in to help out with the kids. I'm just so sick of not being able to win with her. Either every choice I've made has been wrong, or the good choices I've made haven't been handled properly or done right.
Then I realized something about this whole situation: ever since I graduated high school, I have yet to hear words of encouragement or support from either her or my step dad. Not once have they shown me that they're completely in my corner or been absolutely behind me. They've either tried talking me out of doing something, or have been skeptical of my dreams or plans. Maybe it has something to do with my older brother being such a fuck-up and they just don't have any more lofty expectations of me, but it really hurt to come to the realization that they don't seem to want me to have success on my own. Sure, they haven't done anything to hinder me at all, but they definately haven't made things easy for me either. I guess want they want me to do is do things the way they dictate, and damn what I wish to see happen with my life.
So yeah. Rather depressing evening. 10 more sleeps till I'm on my own again. Still will be sleeping alone mind you (unfortunately), but at least I won't have to get depressed at the thought of coming home.
ciao
Then I realized something about this whole situation: ever since I graduated high school, I have yet to hear words of encouragement or support from either her or my step dad. Not once have they shown me that they're completely in my corner or been absolutely behind me. They've either tried talking me out of doing something, or have been skeptical of my dreams or plans. Maybe it has something to do with my older brother being such a fuck-up and they just don't have any more lofty expectations of me, but it really hurt to come to the realization that they don't seem to want me to have success on my own. Sure, they haven't done anything to hinder me at all, but they definately haven't made things easy for me either. I guess want they want me to do is do things the way they dictate, and damn what I wish to see happen with my life.
So yeah. Rather depressing evening. 10 more sleeps till I'm on my own again. Still will be sleeping alone mind you (unfortunately), but at least I won't have to get depressed at the thought of coming home.
ciao
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I know your mom is capable if being a perfectly decent woman. She's been pretty nice to me all the times that I've seen her. She just has some serious control issues with you. I can't really say why. It's just unfortunate.