I have been in a foul mood these last few days. Feeling useless, worthless, hopeless. We went to Mom's for sort-of-dinner, but really leftovers, after we finished work. BLEGH. I wonder if my Mom will ever stop hounding me about not living up to my full potential. Most likely? No. I'm sure she means well, lamenting that I have a crappy job with crappy pay, and nagging me about getting a government job. Yeah, they are great jobs. But I don't know if it's for me. (Yeah, decent pay, raises I don't/can't ask for, benefits and paid vacation- totally not for me.)
Mostly, I feel like everyone thinks I'm this huge fuckin' idiot, and that every decision I make is the wrong one. It's easy to fall into a pattern of second-guessing yourself when everyone around you makes you feel like you can't possibly make a wise decision.
In the best news I've recieved ALL SUMMER, I actually passed Anthro 300. I just need to take the lab and I'm done with my science requirement for transfer. As I was looking through my unofficial transcript online, checking for how many credits I've completed (for a County job app, ell-oh-ell), I noticed that my teacher gave me a C. I didn't do an essay OR take the final. I dropped the class with less than a month left in the class. I kicked myself so hard for quitting with so little left to go. I had nearly 100% in the class going into those last two weeks. I should have just taken the final, and accepted the non-grade on the essay. I could have scored a B. Damn. Unbelievable. (I had a terrible crush on the teach, too.)
The boy is ALMOST DONE with school. I can't believe it. Well, I suppose I can. He's come a long way, and worked his ass off. My darling personal chef. Gah, and he can cook, too. (Though I suppose that's the whole point of the school...)
No more cafe job. I had to quit. I missed 2 days because of a recurring illness, and they cut my shift to 3 hours a day, in the slowest part of the day (=no tips), and interfered with the new job. Fuckers. I think they were planning on shit-canning me anyway. They were cheap assholes. Fuck 'em. I may end up looking for work at Peet's, demanding shift lead status, because of my experience, and, oh, I DON'T KNOW, A PAY RATE I'M WORTH?
It kills me how much I've undervalued myself as an employee. I AM AWESOME. ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME AS AN EMPLOYEE. I really do kick ass. And I've got a killer sense of humor.
I have a wicked Chipotle craving, and alas, it is 11pm, and they are most certainly CLOSED.
Mostly, I feel like everyone thinks I'm this huge fuckin' idiot, and that every decision I make is the wrong one. It's easy to fall into a pattern of second-guessing yourself when everyone around you makes you feel like you can't possibly make a wise decision.
In the best news I've recieved ALL SUMMER, I actually passed Anthro 300. I just need to take the lab and I'm done with my science requirement for transfer. As I was looking through my unofficial transcript online, checking for how many credits I've completed (for a County job app, ell-oh-ell), I noticed that my teacher gave me a C. I didn't do an essay OR take the final. I dropped the class with less than a month left in the class. I kicked myself so hard for quitting with so little left to go. I had nearly 100% in the class going into those last two weeks. I should have just taken the final, and accepted the non-grade on the essay. I could have scored a B. Damn. Unbelievable. (I had a terrible crush on the teach, too.)
The boy is ALMOST DONE with school. I can't believe it. Well, I suppose I can. He's come a long way, and worked his ass off. My darling personal chef. Gah, and he can cook, too. (Though I suppose that's the whole point of the school...)
No more cafe job. I had to quit. I missed 2 days because of a recurring illness, and they cut my shift to 3 hours a day, in the slowest part of the day (=no tips), and interfered with the new job. Fuckers. I think they were planning on shit-canning me anyway. They were cheap assholes. Fuck 'em. I may end up looking for work at Peet's, demanding shift lead status, because of my experience, and, oh, I DON'T KNOW, A PAY RATE I'M WORTH?
It kills me how much I've undervalued myself as an employee. I AM AWESOME. ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME AS AN EMPLOYEE. I really do kick ass. And I've got a killer sense of humor.
I have a wicked Chipotle craving, and alas, it is 11pm, and they are most certainly CLOSED.