difranco

it shouldn't bother me so much, these things happen.. its to be expected more than anything. one of those "wait for it.." moments. still i get jumpy and panicky.. what if.. FUCK what if. nearly everything made me cry today because i am overtired, for once it wasnt the hormones and now... fuck what if. good girl.. good darts.i think i might cry a little, maybe it will make me feel better?im tired, i would jus like a hug, that might help.
and now as predicted, i care little. who am i to care. i am told one thing, who am i to judge a possibility of another. just i care. silly bear.
my face is hot, voice is husk, eyes are tired, soon to bed i think, i need more sleep than ive been getting. making me sick

on a lighter note...: i love my new cell (oh damn you, yeh you, all your americanness making me use words jus cuz the english doesnt sound right)..he is so cute, the emo lizard is like my new best friend. so sad. i do hope greg buys my old one.. would mean ive money to pay for drugs. woohoo!

i saw a gay friend gary whos back from uni up town, he tapped me on the shoulder - i saw him and exclaimed "oh darling" in the gayest of british ways (so cute arent i bruise!) .. we had a couple of moments talk and arranged to go out next wednesday - my bestest cocaine buddy. my mother exclaimed as we walked away "he's lovely...... can i take him home??" he is lovely.
saw richard when going past ann summers the little big queer.. went in to see him because he was dressed in the gayest of outfits.. and he said.. "oh.. we have some new toys in".. jus to make me blush because my mother was standing there. i didnt blush suprisingly.. jus told her to wait outside whilst i had a look. found out rich and manda are coming to bristol on newyears.. woohoo.. and kevin isnt going... even better!! grrr bitchy.. arrg!
i love my boys.. they make me feel so loved *all warm and smiley*