Ive been extremely unmotivated and lazy. All in all ive just been feeling weak. Its not from the vegetarian start. Thats been going fine. Its just mental.
Everyday i drift through life like a ghost. I see the same faces the same people hear the same words and everything is the same. Its becoming more and more like a ritual than anything. I feel like i might as well just drift through this place as a nameless faceless being. This existence im currently living is just becoming too boring.
I come home to video games same game same thing. I come home to see the same people and its the same ritual every day.
From 8:56 alarm clock then 8:57 cell phone alarm clock followed by a shuffle and a roll then me rolling back to my left to close my eyes and four minutes later have my 9:01 alarm clock go off. Then i finally roll out of bed bottom left drawer grab some boxers go shower. I sit down at my computer put on music and clean all my piercings and tattoos. Then i put on the blue jeans and the first t-shirt i see. Terror hoodie and my headphones go in and my hat goes on. Key goes left twice and i walk down five flights of stairs. Then its across a street down and up one curb and a flight of stairs of two landings. Right most door then follow straight through a set of three double doors. Up a mini flight of stairs and open first door on the left go up two flights of stairs. Turn right and go straight and then left and follow the yellow dots. I walk through the cage and to the music building. Then its down a flight of stairs to MU107 where i get my learn on. About 55 minutes later i leave and go back up the stairs and through the cage back up another flight of stairs where i sit in MC315 to get my english on. After that its back down the stairs and down to the music building again to MU107 again. Now its time for film studies. Well go out into the lobby with 6 people and discuss technical aspects of the film. From there its just two hours of discussion.
I come back to my room and sit silent for the remainder of the night mostly. I try to get a hold of people to hang out. No one has time. Or they never show up.
Its a pathetic existence. Its a terrible waste at this moment. I just gotta get myself out. I gotta do something. I gotta change something. If there was a god i need him now more than ever to guide me to the meaning. I need something meaningful to happen.
Im just a ghost walking in this daily non-existent life cycle. Its as predictable as life. I lay down at 1:10 on average and my tv gets turned off at 1:58. Mack taps away and i set my mind into chaos. I sit with my eyes closed watching waves of black flow over my vision until they become one steady color with no deviation. Then its 8:56 again.
Everyday i drift through life like a ghost. I see the same faces the same people hear the same words and everything is the same. Its becoming more and more like a ritual than anything. I feel like i might as well just drift through this place as a nameless faceless being. This existence im currently living is just becoming too boring.
I come home to video games same game same thing. I come home to see the same people and its the same ritual every day.
From 8:56 alarm clock then 8:57 cell phone alarm clock followed by a shuffle and a roll then me rolling back to my left to close my eyes and four minutes later have my 9:01 alarm clock go off. Then i finally roll out of bed bottom left drawer grab some boxers go shower. I sit down at my computer put on music and clean all my piercings and tattoos. Then i put on the blue jeans and the first t-shirt i see. Terror hoodie and my headphones go in and my hat goes on. Key goes left twice and i walk down five flights of stairs. Then its across a street down and up one curb and a flight of stairs of two landings. Right most door then follow straight through a set of three double doors. Up a mini flight of stairs and open first door on the left go up two flights of stairs. Turn right and go straight and then left and follow the yellow dots. I walk through the cage and to the music building. Then its down a flight of stairs to MU107 where i get my learn on. About 55 minutes later i leave and go back up the stairs and through the cage back up another flight of stairs where i sit in MC315 to get my english on. After that its back down the stairs and down to the music building again to MU107 again. Now its time for film studies. Well go out into the lobby with 6 people and discuss technical aspects of the film. From there its just two hours of discussion.
I come back to my room and sit silent for the remainder of the night mostly. I try to get a hold of people to hang out. No one has time. Or they never show up.
Its a pathetic existence. Its a terrible waste at this moment. I just gotta get myself out. I gotta do something. I gotta change something. If there was a god i need him now more than ever to guide me to the meaning. I need something meaningful to happen.
Im just a ghost walking in this daily non-existent life cycle. Its as predictable as life. I lay down at 1:10 on average and my tv gets turned off at 1:58. Mack taps away and i set my mind into chaos. I sit with my eyes closed watching waves of black flow over my vision until they become one steady color with no deviation. Then its 8:56 again.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
wisdomtooth:
Awww buddy be happy. Some kid over in Ethiopia would kill to live your life everyday. Be thankful for everyday your breathing even if it does seem lame.
xtrainwreckx:
Welcome to my life bro. Sounds like we could use a vacation.