Time. All of them have time. I had waiting. They have their friends and this city. I had shit. I guess you'd say I should have a better of myself. I didn't have anybody sacrifice a whole life for me. Every one of them had that. A city like this is built on that. I can feel it all around./I]
- Dionne Brand, WHAT WE ALL LONG FOR, p.137
You see, every now and then one takes a step behind to look on his life from a different point of view. Right now, I don't have a view. I've been standing near the picture for so long now that even far behind I can't get that bluriness away. And that scares the shit out of me.
New job, no more school, a whole new life with some old friends, no girlfriends whatsover and no really interesting options. I call this my new swamp from which I have to extract life in any possible way. Right now it's job, litterally. I live and breathe european comic book fourty hours a week. And then, what's left?
I could get drunk, like I did yesterday and really regretted this morning. I could use some dumb young girl for a quick fuck and then go back to mu whereabouts without caring that much. I could do that, but for the first time in my it absolutely dosen't look appealing to me.
See the confusion here? In this new swamp, even my old bad habbits aren't reliable. Nothing old stands, nothing new appear and I'm left with, let's say, too much time on my hand for not enough project.
Trying to write, trying to read, trying to scare the scare away. Trying and trying and trying...
Nevertheless, saturday night my ass. I'm home alone and probably going to loathe around all night.
Watch me fall, I might bounce back...
MUSIC OF THE DAY : Terry Reid, what a wonderful voice that guy has.
- Dionne Brand, WHAT WE ALL LONG FOR, p.137
You see, every now and then one takes a step behind to look on his life from a different point of view. Right now, I don't have a view. I've been standing near the picture for so long now that even far behind I can't get that bluriness away. And that scares the shit out of me.
New job, no more school, a whole new life with some old friends, no girlfriends whatsover and no really interesting options. I call this my new swamp from which I have to extract life in any possible way. Right now it's job, litterally. I live and breathe european comic book fourty hours a week. And then, what's left?
I could get drunk, like I did yesterday and really regretted this morning. I could use some dumb young girl for a quick fuck and then go back to mu whereabouts without caring that much. I could do that, but for the first time in my it absolutely dosen't look appealing to me.
See the confusion here? In this new swamp, even my old bad habbits aren't reliable. Nothing old stands, nothing new appear and I'm left with, let's say, too much time on my hand for not enough project.
Trying to write, trying to read, trying to scare the scare away. Trying and trying and trying...
Nevertheless, saturday night my ass. I'm home alone and probably going to loathe around all night.
Watch me fall, I might bounce back...
MUSIC OF THE DAY : Terry Reid, what a wonderful voice that guy has.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
valcapone:
Know any volunteers? Cus I sure don't have the money to pay one.
valcapone:
Hmm. Maybe we can do that over Xmas break, cus lord knows I'm swamped with work until about... December 13. I have to actually sit down and WRITE that ninja play now, dammit!