diaphanous

Ok well it's Monday and I'm home! I got released from the booby hatch last night. I'm at work this morning, then going to the beach this afternoon.

I feel SO much better. They admitted me Friday afternoon to St. Joseph's Psychiatric Care Center and it was the smartest decision I made in awhile. My new psych, Dr. Feldman, rocks and he switched my medications...
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quick update....the horrible restlessness + agitation + depression + (now) suicidal ideation has led me to the decision to commit myself to the psychiatric care center at st. joseph's here in tampa. i tried doing something about it tonight at a different hospital (mixed states FTL) but it was a resounding failure in that i didn't see anyone at all because head cases apparently aren't...
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where to begin....

i just got back from philadelphia today and i am a horrific wreck. i am so depressed...everything feels bleak...everything feels hopeless....everything feels agonizing. moving is impossible, i feel so slowed down and heavy. but mentally....my mind is agitated and nervous and angry and out of my control and i am just so tired.

i broke down in the airport today. i cried...
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Man, am I tired of thunderstorms. I've had to change my clothes twice today because I got caught in biblical downpours. I love storms, but I hate getting caught in them.

Ugh, and I left all my meds and shit in the car. Fuck. That means I gotta go back out there and get them.


Totally going to bed early tonight. Tired.

So, long time....zero posting. I've been busy, so sue me.

Let's see...not too much going on here right now - just got back from the beach - I've been trying to go every weekend and so far it's successful. I find a lot of peace at the beach - the wind, the sun, the water and the ability to leave my cell phone off and...
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Just when I thought I was over this plague, I got sick again! What the hell is that shit? Must be stress related. I feel better today though. I'm raiding for a little bit, followed by hanging out with one of my favorite people in an hour or so.

Sometimes it's really nice to spend time with someone who makes no demands on you but...
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So I got the stuff done today that I needed to get done, which was happy. I slept like hell last night. Blah. Was too upset from that blog post to sleep well. But after careful consideration today, I've come to the conclusion that it's just really sad what my ex did. I feel sorry for him that he stooped so very low. Any sort...
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What a day...

I have so much stuff on my mind right now that I need to take care of tomorrow just to keep myself from going more crazy. I have to go to the bank, I have to go to the grocery store, and I have to go to the post office.

In other news, I did a silly girl thing and went searching...
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It's 2:15 am on a Sunday night, and I am sick as a dog. I caught my father's plague. I refuse to call it a cold, because I've had colds before and this is waaaaaaaaaaaay beyond that.

Just got back from the weekend at Watkins Glen, and while it was awesome to introduce my friend to the wonderful world of club racing, I am going...
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The weather here is crazy right now...got caught in a flash flood today, the water was over the hood of my car. Eeps. However the car and I survived.

Had a fun afternoon with my sis - she came over, we went to lunch, took my car to get the oil changed and to have work done on it (needed to be aligned) and then...
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