So, long time....zero posting. I've been busy, so sue me.
Let's see...not too much going on here right now - just got back from the beach - I've been trying to go every weekend and so far it's successful. I find a lot of peace at the beach - the wind, the sun, the water and the ability to leave my cell phone off and in the car is heavenly for me.
Work is going pretty well - we're going to post our best month ever for revenue by quite a few thousand dollars and our costs are dropping as well. The only thing is, working with my mother and living with my mother and father is going to kill me. I have *got* to get out of here before I go insane.
As for social life, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeahright. Owning your own business is not conducive at all to having a life outside of work. I'm working on it but....gonna be awhile before I'm back into the swing of things.
My thoughts on relationships have solidified recently into a "oh god no please no". I was talking to my sister the other night when she pointed out to me that no, it hadn't been five years since I was last out of a relationship in any meaningful way, it was more like SEVEN. That's right folks, nearly a decade spent tied to someone else in some way, shape or form. Seven years not working on what made me happy. Seven years working on and caring about someone else more than I cared about myself. Seven years....you get the point.
I recently made a decision to put a stop to something that was running the definite risk of tacking on another year or two onto that seven because of a promise I made myself when I left my relationship with my ex. I promised myself that I would not get into any serious relationship, or any emotional relationship whatsoever with anyone for at least a year. The thing is, I am broken when it comes to relationships. Please see the string of serious relationships I've left behind in the last 7 years for reference. I am also exhausted, frustrated with myself, and not mentally in the best place at times. I don't have my life together in a way that makes me happy, so how in the hell would I be happy with anyone else? I wouldn't.
So it's up to me now to figure out what I need for myself to be whole, free of the influence of anyone I've been involved with. No one can help me do this. No one and I mean no one can be a part of this.
Please don't love me. It's safer that way. For everyone.
Let's see...not too much going on here right now - just got back from the beach - I've been trying to go every weekend and so far it's successful. I find a lot of peace at the beach - the wind, the sun, the water and the ability to leave my cell phone off and in the car is heavenly for me.
Work is going pretty well - we're going to post our best month ever for revenue by quite a few thousand dollars and our costs are dropping as well. The only thing is, working with my mother and living with my mother and father is going to kill me. I have *got* to get out of here before I go insane.
As for social life, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeahright. Owning your own business is not conducive at all to having a life outside of work. I'm working on it but....gonna be awhile before I'm back into the swing of things.
My thoughts on relationships have solidified recently into a "oh god no please no". I was talking to my sister the other night when she pointed out to me that no, it hadn't been five years since I was last out of a relationship in any meaningful way, it was more like SEVEN. That's right folks, nearly a decade spent tied to someone else in some way, shape or form. Seven years not working on what made me happy. Seven years working on and caring about someone else more than I cared about myself. Seven years....you get the point.
I recently made a decision to put a stop to something that was running the definite risk of tacking on another year or two onto that seven because of a promise I made myself when I left my relationship with my ex. I promised myself that I would not get into any serious relationship, or any emotional relationship whatsoever with anyone for at least a year. The thing is, I am broken when it comes to relationships. Please see the string of serious relationships I've left behind in the last 7 years for reference. I am also exhausted, frustrated with myself, and not mentally in the best place at times. I don't have my life together in a way that makes me happy, so how in the hell would I be happy with anyone else? I wouldn't.
So it's up to me now to figure out what I need for myself to be whole, free of the influence of anyone I've been involved with. No one can help me do this. No one and I mean no one can be a part of this.
Please don't love me. It's safer that way. For everyone.