diaphanous

What a day...

I have so much stuff on my mind right now that I need to take care of tomorrow just to keep myself from going more crazy. I have to go to the bank, I have to go to the grocery store, and I have to go to the post office.

In other news, I did a silly girl thing and went searching for my ex-boyfriend's blog. I don't know why I did it, I suppose I wanted to see how he was doing, and got the shock of my life finding that he had written some rather spiteful, shallow things about me that were based on half-truths. Worse, it was gloating over my really horrible Friday from last week, and...well...I don't know. I was really hurt by it since I've tried my best to not say a mean word about him to anyone. In fact, when a friend of ours brought his former WoW toons into our guild, and people started making fun of him over Vent, I was the first to step up and defend him. In fact, I got really, really upset with people and ripped them a new one for denigrating him publicly. Ironic.

Worse, he decided to make fun of my current mental health issues, of which there are a few, that I'm trying to rectify. Again, ironic.

Sigh. I guess tonight I'm just hurt and disappointed. I sent him an email about the post letting him know I had seen it, and while I probably shouldn't have been looking for it, the damage was done. I wasn't mean or harsh, I just corrected some of the info he had and asked that he be enough of a gentlemen to revise portions of his blog that were untrue.

I don't know if he'll even read the email all the way through, and in a way, I doubt he'll reply. All I can say is that I stood up for myself the best I could. I know I made mistakes recently, and I'm tired of feeling ashamed. All I can do is clean up my act and get my shit together.

I just want to cry now thinking about all of this. I'm sure that will make him very happy. How far he's fallen in my eyes.