diaphanous

where to begin....

i just got back from philadelphia today and i am a horrific wreck. i am so depressed...everything feels bleak...everything feels hopeless....everything feels agonizing. moving is impossible, i feel so slowed down and heavy. but mentally....my mind is agitated and nervous and angry and out of my control and i am just so tired.

i broke down in the airport today. i cried...
Read More

Man, am I tired of thunderstorms. I've had to change my clothes twice today because I got caught in biblical downpours. I love storms, but I hate getting caught in them.

Ugh, and I left all my meds and shit in the car. Fuck. That means I gotta go back out there and get them.


Totally going to bed early tonight. Tired.

So, long time....zero posting. I've been busy, so sue me.

Let's see...not too much going on here right now - just got back from the beach - I've been trying to go every weekend and so far it's successful. I find a lot of peace at the beach - the wind, the sun, the water and the ability to leave my cell phone off and...
Read More

Just when I thought I was over this plague, I got sick again! What the hell is that shit? Must be stress related. I feel better today though. I'm raiding for a little bit, followed by hanging out with one of my favorite people in an hour or so.

Sometimes it's really nice to spend time with someone who makes no demands on you but...
Read More

So I got the stuff done today that I needed to get done, which was happy. I slept like hell last night. Blah. Was too upset from that blog post to sleep well. But after careful consideration today, I've come to the conclusion that it's just really sad what my ex did. I feel sorry for him that he stooped so very low. Any sort...
Read More

What a day...

I have so much stuff on my mind right now that I need to take care of tomorrow just to keep myself from going more crazy. I have to go to the bank, I have to go to the grocery store, and I have to go to the post office.

In other news, I did a silly girl thing and went searching...
Read More

It's 2:15 am on a Sunday night, and I am sick as a dog. I caught my father's plague. I refuse to call it a cold, because I've had colds before and this is waaaaaaaaaaaay beyond that.

Just got back from the weekend at Watkins Glen, and while it was awesome to introduce my friend to the wonderful world of club racing, I am going...
Read More

The weather here is crazy right now...got caught in a flash flood today, the water was over the hood of my car. Eeps. However the car and I survived.

Had a fun afternoon with my sis - she came over, we went to lunch, took my car to get the oil changed and to have work done on it (needed to be aligned) and then...
Read More

Well, it's done. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't fun. But...I feel this gigantic sense of relief. Like I could fly right now. Phew.

Man, I suck at this updating thing. Sigh. Oh well.

I'm breaking it off with my bf tonight. After our break, which was well needed by all, he's gotten even worse on the "you are my everything" front. I hate that kind of pressure. I tolerate it....badly. And the fact of the matter is, I don't have the stamina to keep going through this with...
Read More

Wow....I am really kinda drunk right now.

Today was fantastic. I woke up way too early - 7:30 on a Saturday, wtf - and then got coffee/donuts and played some WoW for a bit. Then I went to Barb's, went to lunch, and then went to the family reunion...god you oughta see that family portrait. I'm shocked that my uncle Bill could have gotten all...
Read More