You know...some day it IS going to get better.
There is no way that such a good, kind, giving, optimistic person, doesn't have a good life.
I seem to find myself crying every day.
My BF's sister and parents are really doing a number on me. Even today my mom said..."It kills me to see how much their family has mutilated you and just made you someone you never used to be"
I know I need to just grow up and get over it...but I don't know how.
Apparently I'm not as forgiving as I once thought...and not as big of a person as I wish I was.
*sigh*
Don't mind that I work over 15+ hours a day, only see my BF on the weekends (which I won't for the next three due to hunting and my business trips).
My heart just aches.
I miss my dog.
I hate the family I am more than likely going to marry into one day.
I have no friends here.
I don't have many friends to speak of...here or not.
It all hurts so much.
Why can't I just be comfortably numb rather than ridden with pain?
Don't pay any attention to this.
I just can't post anything on MySpace, because his sister and her friends see it and yell at me and I no longer really write in my journal due to bad carpel tunnel and the fact that I just don't have that kind of time anymore. Thank you to those who sent notes about Trinity. She was an amazing dog and there isn't anyone who knew her who wasn't deeply affected by her loss.
Hope you're all having a good weekend!
There is no way that such a good, kind, giving, optimistic person, doesn't have a good life.
I seem to find myself crying every day.
My BF's sister and parents are really doing a number on me. Even today my mom said..."It kills me to see how much their family has mutilated you and just made you someone you never used to be"
I know I need to just grow up and get over it...but I don't know how.
Apparently I'm not as forgiving as I once thought...and not as big of a person as I wish I was.
*sigh*
Don't mind that I work over 15+ hours a day, only see my BF on the weekends (which I won't for the next three due to hunting and my business trips).
My heart just aches.
I miss my dog.
I hate the family I am more than likely going to marry into one day.
I have no friends here.
I don't have many friends to speak of...here or not.
It all hurts so much.
Why can't I just be comfortably numb rather than ridden with pain?
Don't pay any attention to this.
I just can't post anything on MySpace, because his sister and her friends see it and yell at me and I no longer really write in my journal due to bad carpel tunnel and the fact that I just don't have that kind of time anymore. Thank you to those who sent notes about Trinity. She was an amazing dog and there isn't anyone who knew her who wasn't deeply affected by her loss.
Hope you're all having a good weekend!
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Your situation makes me sad.. but I know how you feel.. I cry all the time, sometimes just for no reason.. just the state of this world and the people in it.. living in the city you see a whole lot every day you just wish you didn't.. like living under a rock would be so much easier because you wouldn't have to deal with this shit every day. I cry for the things that should have been and never were, the things I can't change, and the things I don't understand. Afterwards, I get back up and finish the day.. learn to embrace the pain and love it because it reminds me that i'm still alive.. I'm so done with comfortably numb. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour my dear.. and there's always that one grain of hope in an ocean of shit that something amazing is right around the corner
stay well
I am so sorry that you're having to go through this rough time. You are an amazing, sweet, beautiful women and if you're 'in-laws' don't recognize that, it is their loss, not yours. With that said, your BF is who is really important in this situation and it sounds like he really loves you. So, his family will come to recognize how amazing you are or they won't and it will be their downfall. As long as your BF supports you and recognizes how difficult this situation is for you, you will get through it. Stay strong and it will all work out.
Oh, and I'm sorry to hear about your dog. My heart breaks.
Much love and support!