I sit here bawling my eyes out after losing someone else to my stupid chronic illness. I feel worthless, and like everyone will leave.
So many already have, so why shouldn’t I expect everyone else to?
I’m broken.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
xheartswornx:
I started a big reply and had to delete it. I felt like it gave more excuses (not valid ones, mind you) to the people who are too lame to grow up and be adult about life being difficult. Forget the people who walk off with their attention deficit and find the ones that still believe in you. I try my best from oceans apart, but we can't let someone else's bad decision be our problem. We all have our own problems to deal with be it chronic illness or something else. You deal with these things your way and the people that are around to support you do the best they can. The others... meh. Forget them. You're stronger than this. You live with this chronic illness. That's not a reminder that things suck, but a remind that you've gotten this far and you've continued to do what you love. You've continued to smile, to interact, to be a real human. You stand up for us, you share your light. You've taken something that is not awesome and you kept walking forward lifting it up like a boss. Never let someone else bring you down. If their light fades and they choose to be a dick then you just look for more light and keep moving forward. Never stop. I don't care if it's a longtime friend, a family member, or a stranger. There is always light in one direction or another and you can keep marching toward it. Like my recent blog post implies, you can't blend in when you were meant to stand out. I watched the movie "Wonder" recently and one day have to read the book, but the point is that why be a spoon or a fork when you're next level awesomeness. You're not a fork, not a spoon, not a knife. You're not a one or two trick pony in a kitchen drawer. You're the one using the tools you create to make this life what you want it to be. Eat with your fingers, eat with a fork. Don't let anyone tell you what you are as they walk away. I believe in you. I hope you believe in yourself, too. You can't always expect everyone to to be adult and human because they'll whine about their excuses. You can expect that at least a few will be ride or die no matter what their problems may be because they see something in you that helps them overcome their own problems big and small. I know this is coming from someone rather new, but if you need to just rinse that out of your system with a lot of words you know where you can turn. Sometimes it feels good to just shout and let all of that bad energy out so you can juice up with better positive energies. Or if you need to let out some of that positive energy and share what's next then do that, too! I know I'm here. I can't speak for everyone, but they seem to be offering themselves if you need also. ❤
xhippykid:
Hang in there!