Dear friends,
It's a mental health day. I feel the coiling of suchness, nature speaks. Being a good listener - I submit to the current. Going against the wheel is discordant to the universe. Must find sanctuary in carving out the lampless shade. My phosphorescent grin begins..It may help to know that despite my altruistic wishes, I am a broken thing. Beautiful as my heart may shine, I'm 'not unlike' all sentient beings - and am occasioned to bleed. This is a hidden ugly and deep wound. Looking at the cracks in the chartreuse and starlit hem, the diamonds in the hair Nyx. Glittering beauties, the pathos of mine own aggregates must verily heal. In doing so, they be given medicine and placed on a shelf with good air and light. The moist darkness makes them grow into monsters that eat happiness, they wage war and draw blueprints for genocide on all that is peaceful, loving, compassionate and kind. Keeping things in relative perspective. my diagnosis: Asperger's syndrome, Adult ADHD, profound anxiety issues, depression, insomnia. Suicide attempts are simply a product of this. Medication: Saphris 2.5-5 MG (Ass burgers), Adderall XR 30MG (Adult ADHD), Klonopin 0.5 MG once or twice daily (Anxiety), Zoloft 75-100 MG (Depression), Ambien 10 MG (Insomnia). Quite the cocktail huh?? Well, it's the glue for now that's holding me together. A friend recently asked when I told her, "I just got back from my psychiatrist yesterday and well, It's official, I'm a hot mess!! Lol." She said after learning of my diagnosis, "How do you feel about it all? I'd imagine a sense of relief but yet scared." My reply was, "The metaphor is I'm bleeding. It's nice to know where. Moreover, it's a blessing to have Bodhisattva's in the form of medicine to treat the inner wounds.
Here is a letter I sent my ex-mother in law:
Good morning mom,
How are you? Beautiful day! Having visited with my psychiatrist last Monday, I've secured 'with great confidence' the outcome of my diagnosis. It is with absolute Trust & Faith that I place these words In Your Care. That said, I believe 'we' have only spoken briefly of my depression. As it turns out, Dr Weiss has also diagnosed me with Asperberger's Syndrome (a form of autism), Adult ADHD, I've social anxiety, and, insomnia. That said, my medication is as follows: Saphris 2.5-5 MG (Aspberger's), Adderall XR 30MG (Adult ADHD), Klonopin 0.5 MG 'once or twice' daily as needed (Anxiety), Zoloft 75-100 MG (Depression), & Ambien 10 MG (Insomnia). It is my heartfelt wish To Keep Open, so that any curious behavior may readily be understood. The metaphor is like an internal wound. Something is bleeding - I am grateful know the 'why', the 'where', and most importantly I've the wherewithal to 'apply the remedy'. Forgive me in this period of adjustments, it's my belief that I am on the road to 'Doing Better' & 'Being More'!
With Much Love & Kindness,
Shaun Goodfellow
Much love to you my friends, xo!
,
Shaun
It's a mental health day. I feel the coiling of suchness, nature speaks. Being a good listener - I submit to the current. Going against the wheel is discordant to the universe. Must find sanctuary in carving out the lampless shade. My phosphorescent grin begins..It may help to know that despite my altruistic wishes, I am a broken thing. Beautiful as my heart may shine, I'm 'not unlike' all sentient beings - and am occasioned to bleed. This is a hidden ugly and deep wound. Looking at the cracks in the chartreuse and starlit hem, the diamonds in the hair Nyx. Glittering beauties, the pathos of mine own aggregates must verily heal. In doing so, they be given medicine and placed on a shelf with good air and light. The moist darkness makes them grow into monsters that eat happiness, they wage war and draw blueprints for genocide on all that is peaceful, loving, compassionate and kind. Keeping things in relative perspective. my diagnosis: Asperger's syndrome, Adult ADHD, profound anxiety issues, depression, insomnia. Suicide attempts are simply a product of this. Medication: Saphris 2.5-5 MG (Ass burgers), Adderall XR 30MG (Adult ADHD), Klonopin 0.5 MG once or twice daily (Anxiety), Zoloft 75-100 MG (Depression), Ambien 10 MG (Insomnia). Quite the cocktail huh?? Well, it's the glue for now that's holding me together. A friend recently asked when I told her, "I just got back from my psychiatrist yesterday and well, It's official, I'm a hot mess!! Lol." She said after learning of my diagnosis, "How do you feel about it all? I'd imagine a sense of relief but yet scared." My reply was, "The metaphor is I'm bleeding. It's nice to know where. Moreover, it's a blessing to have Bodhisattva's in the form of medicine to treat the inner wounds.
Here is a letter I sent my ex-mother in law:
Good morning mom,
How are you? Beautiful day! Having visited with my psychiatrist last Monday, I've secured 'with great confidence' the outcome of my diagnosis. It is with absolute Trust & Faith that I place these words In Your Care. That said, I believe 'we' have only spoken briefly of my depression. As it turns out, Dr Weiss has also diagnosed me with Asperberger's Syndrome (a form of autism), Adult ADHD, I've social anxiety, and, insomnia. That said, my medication is as follows: Saphris 2.5-5 MG (Aspberger's), Adderall XR 30MG (Adult ADHD), Klonopin 0.5 MG 'once or twice' daily as needed (Anxiety), Zoloft 75-100 MG (Depression), & Ambien 10 MG (Insomnia). It is my heartfelt wish To Keep Open, so that any curious behavior may readily be understood. The metaphor is like an internal wound. Something is bleeding - I am grateful know the 'why', the 'where', and most importantly I've the wherewithal to 'apply the remedy'. Forgive me in this period of adjustments, it's my belief that I am on the road to 'Doing Better' & 'Being More'!
With Much Love & Kindness,
Shaun Goodfellow
Much love to you my friends, xo!
, Shaun
rourke:
Awwwwwwwww wish we could have met 