dgrevolver

Have you ever cared so much about someone and never really told them how you truly feel and then they move away, out of your life. A chance at something more then friendship? I'm at this weird point in my life where Love is not what it seems.

I'd rather have a life long friendship and avoid the chance at failure in being in a relationship with someone because the pain of failure is greater then the pain of not following your heart. I feel like I let them down. I let myself down cause in the end I have been defeated by awful relationships and I see nothing but negatives surrounding it.

Giving myself a chance to be alone. A chance to embrace loneliness and not let that defeat me as well. Take time to heal this bitter heart and hope it's not to late. Loneliness is temporary. I will not settle. After passing this person up who truly cares about me makes me feel like I really am damaged.

I can't force love. It's a thing that over time grows and blossoms. It needs to be nurtured and exposed to sun light. After you spend enough time failing at that simple act you tend to not care anymore, until that someone walks into your life and you are not yourself, not able to see past this horrid feeling of doubt, They wait for you to come around and you are not there until you see them walking away and wonder why the fuck you had your head up your ass that entire time.

I'll brake this stupid cycle at some point. One thing I've realized is that it's ok to be defeated sometimes. It's ok to feel the lows and talk about that. If you have things that you want to say to someone it's better to say it then to wait and let those chances pass you by.
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