dfraven

This is very embarrassing but any advice would be greatly appreciated. My girlfriend and I are in our late 20s and have been going out for over 4 years. We Have been living together with my parents for over 2 years now for due to our fucked up finacial problems. To set the story up to where we are now is this "Her mom has been in jail for the last 2 years. Since shes been in jail all of my GF's mom problems were dumped on my GF. As in, Paying for her Mom's car, Her Mom's Bills, Her Mom's house etc. Hence why we moved in to my parents house to help us out with the some of the bills. My parents understand her situation and has helped us out by letting us stay there rent free, so we can catch up on our bills and get everything back in order by the time her mom gets out of jail. Between My GF and her sister they agreed to split the bills between the two of them but her Sister is selfsh and has left my GF and me to deal with all of her mom's bills and our own on top of it by ourselves" (Thats was just a short background story to understand my GF's state of mind right now) When we first started dating she told me she was a Virgin, Now most guys would run for the hills but I was curious, We hit it off right away. As in any relationship I let her know was ready to take things to the next level, but you dont want her thinking thats all youre after. After all was still a virgin in her early 20's so shes very unlikely to cave to the pressure, Plus she's obviously pretty skilled at saying no! I thought that was an indication she was waiting for someone special, Her Prince Charming! Slowly but surely we had sex, and it was intense for the first 2 years and since then it's been dropping gradually. I can also point out that I am the one that have been doing all the initiation and that itself lowers my self esteem. After we moved in together after her "Mom's Crap" it's almost like she fulfilled her goal and now doesn't want to have sex anymore. We've had sex three times in the last 4-5 months, and thats maybe pushing it. Usually she just ignores my efforts or Pushes me away, It's too late, She's tired, or "Don't molest me", "You can survive without sex, I can", or my favorite all time shoot down is "Get over it". On two occations I have brought this up for serious discussion, first time was last spring when I said that I wanted to know what's causing it or what I was doing wrong, it only made her irritated. The other time, after daily attempts for over a month I one night simply got so sad and disappointed that I wen't to sleep crying!!! The next morning she came in all angry and wondered what was wrong with me, I told her that her behaviour is completely fucked up thats there 2 of us in this relationship not just her and that I cannot understand why she simply doesn't want to have sex. Again she was only irritated and angry that I brought this up... All her friends say "I feel sorry for you dude I don't know what to say" ... "Danny just rape her" ... in a funny way but its just not funny anymore its pretty fucking depressing at this point!

I am seriously on the verge of loosing it, to bring an idea of how this is making me feel and how desperate I have become I should mention that I have been cheated on once in a prior relationship and that completely destroyed me that time. Recently I very nearly ended up doing the same thing myself even though I am probably one of the worlds biggest nice guy there are. But, everyone keeps telling me "if your not getting it at home, A guys is a guy and is going to get his needs else where" ... In a way i see this being true but I'm just not a cheating type of guys ... I've been tempted to cheat but I just can't se myself doing it. This relationship is in all other aspects completely wonderful, and that's what's keeping me from breaking it off. In these past 2 weeks I have realized I have a self esteem issue, and that really doesn't help when you're the one that has do initiate, or try to initiate, every single time. Please help me by giving me some sort of advice on what I should do!