dfraven

I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to talk to people, much less women. I don't say or do the right things in social situations. I'm an awkward, under-appreciated, under-sexed shrill. And after meeting countless people, I'm convinced that I'm the only one on the planet who acts like this. I mean, all my girlfriends were accidents, including my current. My current girlfriend is with me because I'm a "nice guy who loves her". Actually, I'm not even the nice guy who finishes last, because apparently I am an asshole most of the time and don't even realize it. It's the times too that I am trying to stand up for myself, like what I would think alpha males would do, that people stop talking to me and say I'm an asshole.

So here's my question then:
Is it normal for me to want to be like my friend's ex-boyfriend? He gets what he wants, when he wants it. Even if his intentions are evil, it must be exciting to know that you are in that level of control. To think that if you wanted, you could find that woman you always dreamed of and actually stay with her, while people like me fall to the wayside. I mean, the level of oppression that I have felt being on the bottom of the totem pole actually made me want to cheat on my girlfriend, just to feel a little bit of the power that others have now. A inferiority complex, you know? I know that being like him would make me just as horrible a person. But at the same time, I'm apparently already a horrible person, just one who gets shit on 24/7. I would like to ask all of you alpha men, bad girls, and goody two-shoes out there if what I want is normal?