dezzie

Hello all my devious little duckies!
So, I have returned in one piece from the Trinity Site outside of Tularosa New Mexico, the place where Nuclear Fission first took place, where the atom bomb was tested. Needless to say it was an absolutely amazing experience! They only let civilians inside the gate twice a year, and one of those weekends is the first Saturday in October. I was completely surprised by all of the people that showed up. I was expecting maybe fifty, but there were well over two hundred! We all met at the local High School, which was a bit of a problem because the website stated that the meeting was to take place at the old high school. which turned out to be an abandoned red building. After getting lost, we eventually found our way to the home of the Wildcats.
Cars lined up bumper to bumper and being led by two buses, we made our way out to the site, which was about an hour and a half away. I wondered what it was like for the scientists, interns, and soldiers to make their way out there. I wondered what they thought about, if they knew what their commute would eventually bring the world.
Entering the gate was surreal. It wasn't a crater, as many expects it would be. After the initial detonation of the first Nuclear Bomb, the site was plowed over, the soil turned, in an attempt to rid the area of some of the radiation. Doing so also scattered Trininite around the site, which you can still find today. It's quite a beautiful stone, found only where nuclear explosions have taken place. It was formed when the explosion caused such intense heat that it melted the sand it touched into stone. The energy that followed immediately thereafter caused the Trininite to be launched into the air, and to rain down onto the crater left.

The gate was lined by pictures, including pictures from before the detonation, and the story of the scientists and soldiers who worked on this site every day. The bomb was constructed and detonated on a tower, which was almost completely destroyed by the explosion.

You can see the replica of the bomb on the trucks flat bed. I imagined it would be bigger. I'm not sure why, I suppose it was due to the destruction that it had caused. So much damage and death packed into a relatively small package. Needless to say it was enlightening, and terrifying all in the same moment.
There was a farm house about five miles away from the detonation site. It was actually quite a pretty dwelling. Much like the house I grew up in, cookie cutter bedrooms, small kitchen, small cottage windows.

It is here that the scientists had their clean room. Where they taped plastic over the windows, as it is imperative to keep dust out. In this area, that's not easy. Of coarse, most of what must have been inside of this house seventy years ago has been moved, and stored, somewhere, probably classified.

From the bedroom window, which was changed into the clean room. There was a quiet air about the crowd, almost that of regret. There was so much information to take in, and so much to think about. You know, nuclear fission, or the concept of it, was actually thought of at the stoplight. Waiting in traffic, just a passing thought. A passing thought that has changed the way we fight wars, how we view our lives, and potentially, how we power them. Not only was a weapon of murderous magnitude developed here, but also possibility was. So much possibility shrouded in so much tragedy.

This is outside the farm house, at the watering hole. Scientists and soldiers would often swim here, and sometimes had competition. Considering summers in this desert can get up to over 105 degrees, you can't blame them. We took the bus back to the detonation site, and soon after we left with the convoy back to the High School.
Of coarse the obvious questions were brought up, was it a necessary attack? Was it really worth all of the pain, death, and misfortune it caused. Not only for the generation involved in the attack but the generations after. Not only that, but it was this attack that allowed so many countries in the world to stock pile their own nuclear weapons, to aim at whoever they deem fit.
People say it is in human nature to war with each other. Over resources, over land, over religion, and even just for kicks. Still even if it is truly in our nature, why is war not even between armies anymore. In the Revolutionary War, the number of civilian deaths was below one hundred. One of which was the famous story of the "Woman shot through the wall" when she was baking bread. Another was the causality of a young man who had been picnicking to watch the battle and got hit by a stray cannon ball. As our weapons became deadlier, the number of civilian casualties has increased. As weapons became capable of greater destruction the number of civilian casualties increased. Nuclear warfare caused the number of civilian casualties to skyrocket, in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki, most of the deaths recorded were those of civilians. On the gate inside of the Trinity site there was a picture of the man who armed the bomb on the flight over Hiroshima. His name was Morris Jeppson, a weapons specialists, who are following the orders he was given, died of old age. A right his actions denied over 100,000 Japanese people the same peaceful fate. Some scientists who worked on the construction of the bomb later took their own lives. I don't know if I could find the will to live if my greatest achievement was used for such purposes. Of coarse, some would ask if they were filled with such guilt, why did they stay on the project? Still, some things are really tangible until they truly come into fruition.
It's such a difficult slippery slope to navigate. Was the nuclear bombing justified by the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor? Was it undue force? Was it worth the effects that it has had on our lives, the lives of our parents, and the lives of our children? Something wondrous was developed, and this happening has made much of what's possible in our lives now applicable. Radiation therapy has saved people I love, and is attempting to do so again. What a treacherous day we live in, this our technological adolescence. The question is, will we, can we, survive this. Not as a country, but as an entire human race?

Also, I promise I will get to my inbox this week, things have been so crazy, and life hasn't gotten any better, but it will. Every living thing is given a choice when the catalyst of change and loss presents itself, grow or die, and I know I will grow.
All my love,
Dezzie

P.S. Every day that goes by we get closer to my new set being ready and uploaded, and I know you'll love my Halloween set I've got planned for you. Thirst for it lovelies.