My best friend there, also my little brother, and his family are basically my family. They adopted me once they knew what shitholes my family is and have been there for me ever since. But now that I am gone, things just havent been the same. Well since i started dating my husband things haven't been the same. Well, anyways, I wrote him a long ass e-mail on myspace saying im glad i have a way to get ahold of him (we're both horrible on calling eachother back) and I miss him sincerly, and loved him, and cant wait to see him in Jan. Well, this e-mail came out to be like 7 effin' paragraphs, because, well, im lame and have nothing else to do with my day and I was missin on him. He wrote me back saying..
..I wish Jon had never taken you away from me...
How do I respond to that? At that instant i wish I could have gone back and made things different. I dont know what I want. but the life im leading now, certainly isnt it. I miss having friends.. having people to goto, people to snuggle with on shitty days and have cal-fests with. I miss being able to have drinks with my girls. I miss being allowed to drink. I miss being myself. This certainly is not me. I feel like a reclouse. It's fucking pathetic. I talked to Jon andthere's no way we can even afford to go back to Seattle even if we wanted to, his advice is for me to join a volleyball league through the lds church. Fuck no. He doesn't get it. I'm begining to think he doesn't know me at all... I'm so unhappy. HELP!
im sorry, i hope it all works out.
and thank you for the scary baby card!!!