Since its been a few days since my last update and so much has happened I suppose I'd better fill you all in on the current state of play. I've managed to break it all down into 10 different points, so in no particular order whatsoever:
1. I got a payrise
Yay yay! My present rate of pay has been increased by a whopping great 21p an hour. This works out at just under an extra 3 per month. Go health service!!!! I can buy an extra....fuck I can't even think what additional luxury I can buy for that measly amount. Clearly their hole is open. Still I suppose its better than nothing but when you get all worked up about your annual pay rise and then discover that its actually practically nada......
2. I met McRoger
Sparkie69 and I headed to Dublin's fair city on Monday and met the gorgeous McRoger. What a lovely lass!
Unfortunately we were only there for a very short amount of time but it was a really good day, apart from the tiny snag of my raging hangover and the unreliable public transport system we have in Ireland which leads me to:
3. I was obliged to run
I DO NOT run for man nor beast but alas I had to for Irish buses. Buses here are generally late when you are in a hurry and leave dead-on-time when you're running late. This is highly stressful and frustrating. We were cutting it really fine to catch the bus home from Dublin (to make matters worse the bastarding fuckhead driver was parked in the wrong place in Dublin station so I nearly got on the wrong coach) the same dickhead driver crawled up the road (I swear I could have walked faster!), getting us back in the north with only 10 minutes to spare before our connecting bus left - from a station a 20 minute walk away - FUCK POO BOLLOCKS! So I had to run - in high boots. My feet are blistered plus I am still mortified because I look like such a moron when I run, hence why I NEVER do it....if I hadn't made the bus I would have been seriously pissed off.....
4. I have been compared to Nicole Kidman
This one is a bit freaky. I was told last night that I look like Nicole Kidman with dark hair in my profile pic. Do I really?
Hmm I am not Australian, I am not tall, I am not skinny.....I am supposedly a deadringer for her as she appeared in Eyes Wide Shut. What a shit film but boy does it give me the horn....its the whole manor orgy thing, damn I've just realised that I can't get through a journal entry without talking about sex, swiftly moving on..... 
5. I have discovered Sebastian Bachs website
It was talking about having the horn that reminded me of this. Yes his website is crap but he is such a fucking god, I mean you just have to look at him...and he played Jesus Christ Superstar and everything. I remember watching him a few years back on Never Mind The Buzzcocks - he was completely rat-arsed and when he opens his mouth you are hit with the realisation that he is an utter ball-bag but he would look nice sitting on my mantlepiece
6. My lack of faith in condoms has been reinforced
Am I the only person on the planet who remarks how shit methods of contraception are? The male condom, despite the different varieties, textures and tastes (you can even get some now with a vibrator in the tip, yes its true) will inevitably let you down when you most need it. The manufacturers get round it by their whole no method is 100% reliable - it just turns sex into fucking Russian Roulette. Scary biscuits.
7. I have discovered the most evil alcoholic drink ever
Sparking rose wine. Expensive. Good quality. It is fucking magic, can be drunk like lemonade. The bubbles make you happy. It's always been my motto never to mix my drinks, I constantly yap at my sister "grapes and hops don't mix". I kinda didn't think it would apply to mixing different types of wine, so feeling all merry on 2 glasses of outstanding rose I had another 2 of wreck-the-house white. What a big mistake. It floored me. Completely. I was obliged to get up off the floor and make myself sick
This was not a pretty sight and my resulting hangover has forced me back on the wagon. Again.
8. One of my close friends dropped a bombshell
Only it wasn't really a bombshell. It was no big deal but I wasn't expecting it and I put my fucking big foot in it and I feel terrible. This is my legendary single friend, he is utterly amazing, after months of wondering why he is still single he has finally met someone he likes, she just happens to be French and 15 years his junior....this is not what bothers him though. When I spoke to him about it he had just consumed a litre bottle of Smirnoff so I wasn't paying heed to anything he said.....he claimed the real reason why he was worried about actually starting something with this girl was because he is mildly autistic....fuck fuck fuck, I followed that by several cracks about Rainman as I was sure he was piss-taking....fuck fuck fuck. He wasn't. He has little emotional depth, I just thought he was a typical bloke The autism explains a lot of his behaviour but I feel like shit and I seriously hope I didn't say anything that offensive..... 
9. I'm really starting to enjoy having a bath
Ha ha, this makes it sound like I'm a dirty bitch! I'm not, I'm probably more of a shower-type person and can assure I wash on a daily basis (you'd be surprised sometimes, I do know of people who only shower about once every four days, there's nothing a bigger turn-off than cheesy cock). Baths are wonderful, they're all bubbly and warm and sexy......
10. I'm in the position where I could get my heart severely smashed
Fuck I said it out loud. Or wrote it. I detest new relationships when you get passed the whole casual stage and start admitting feelings because thats when major insecurity and paranoia tend to set in. I'm so bad at relationships. No, I mean REALLY bad. It all goes belly-up for me once I start to fall for someone. I can rarely tell how the other person is feeling and its difficult for me to accept that someone could actually like me, maybe even love me, I'm constantly so down on myself and my insecurity is destructive. I'm feeling vulnerable and alone after a fabulous few days of bliss and beyond all else I'm shit scared. I miss him.
Final note: sodomy has the element of consent, buggery doesn't. Thanks for commenting!
1. I got a payrise
Yay yay! My present rate of pay has been increased by a whopping great 21p an hour. This works out at just under an extra 3 per month. Go health service!!!! I can buy an extra....fuck I can't even think what additional luxury I can buy for that measly amount. Clearly their hole is open. Still I suppose its better than nothing but when you get all worked up about your annual pay rise and then discover that its actually practically nada......
2. I met McRoger
Sparkie69 and I headed to Dublin's fair city on Monday and met the gorgeous McRoger. What a lovely lass!
Unfortunately we were only there for a very short amount of time but it was a really good day, apart from the tiny snag of my raging hangover and the unreliable public transport system we have in Ireland which leads me to:
3. I was obliged to run
I DO NOT run for man nor beast but alas I had to for Irish buses. Buses here are generally late when you are in a hurry and leave dead-on-time when you're running late. This is highly stressful and frustrating. We were cutting it really fine to catch the bus home from Dublin (to make matters worse the bastarding fuckhead driver was parked in the wrong place in Dublin station so I nearly got on the wrong coach) the same dickhead driver crawled up the road (I swear I could have walked faster!), getting us back in the north with only 10 minutes to spare before our connecting bus left - from a station a 20 minute walk away - FUCK POO BOLLOCKS! So I had to run - in high boots. My feet are blistered plus I am still mortified because I look like such a moron when I run, hence why I NEVER do it....if I hadn't made the bus I would have been seriously pissed off.....
4. I have been compared to Nicole Kidman
This one is a bit freaky. I was told last night that I look like Nicole Kidman with dark hair in my profile pic. Do I really?
Hmm I am not Australian, I am not tall, I am not skinny.....I am supposedly a deadringer for her as she appeared in Eyes Wide Shut. What a shit film but boy does it give me the horn....its the whole manor orgy thing, damn I've just realised that I can't get through a journal entry without talking about sex, swiftly moving on.....
5. I have discovered Sebastian Bachs website
It was talking about having the horn that reminded me of this. Yes his website is crap but he is such a fucking god, I mean you just have to look at him...and he played Jesus Christ Superstar and everything. I remember watching him a few years back on Never Mind The Buzzcocks - he was completely rat-arsed and when he opens his mouth you are hit with the realisation that he is an utter ball-bag but he would look nice sitting on my mantlepiece
6. My lack of faith in condoms has been reinforced
Am I the only person on the planet who remarks how shit methods of contraception are? The male condom, despite the different varieties, textures and tastes (you can even get some now with a vibrator in the tip, yes its true) will inevitably let you down when you most need it. The manufacturers get round it by their whole no method is 100% reliable - it just turns sex into fucking Russian Roulette. Scary biscuits.
7. I have discovered the most evil alcoholic drink ever
Sparking rose wine. Expensive. Good quality. It is fucking magic, can be drunk like lemonade. The bubbles make you happy. It's always been my motto never to mix my drinks, I constantly yap at my sister "grapes and hops don't mix". I kinda didn't think it would apply to mixing different types of wine, so feeling all merry on 2 glasses of outstanding rose I had another 2 of wreck-the-house white. What a big mistake. It floored me. Completely. I was obliged to get up off the floor and make myself sick
This was not a pretty sight and my resulting hangover has forced me back on the wagon. Again.
8. One of my close friends dropped a bombshell
Only it wasn't really a bombshell. It was no big deal but I wasn't expecting it and I put my fucking big foot in it and I feel terrible. This is my legendary single friend, he is utterly amazing, after months of wondering why he is still single he has finally met someone he likes, she just happens to be French and 15 years his junior....this is not what bothers him though. When I spoke to him about it he had just consumed a litre bottle of Smirnoff so I wasn't paying heed to anything he said.....he claimed the real reason why he was worried about actually starting something with this girl was because he is mildly autistic....fuck fuck fuck, I followed that by several cracks about Rainman as I was sure he was piss-taking....fuck fuck fuck. He wasn't. He has little emotional depth, I just thought he was a typical bloke
The autism explains a lot of his behaviour but I feel like shit and I seriously hope I didn't say anything that offensive.....
9. I'm really starting to enjoy having a bath
Ha ha, this makes it sound like I'm a dirty bitch! I'm not, I'm probably more of a shower-type person and can assure I wash on a daily basis (you'd be surprised sometimes, I do know of people who only shower about once every four days, there's nothing a bigger turn-off than cheesy cock
). Baths are wonderful, they're all bubbly and warm and sexy......
10. I'm in the position where I could get my heart severely smashed
Fuck I said it out loud. Or wrote it. I detest new relationships when you get passed the whole casual stage and start admitting feelings because thats when major insecurity and paranoia tend to set in. I'm so bad at relationships. No, I mean REALLY bad. It all goes belly-up for me once I start to fall for someone. I can rarely tell how the other person is feeling and its difficult for me to accept that someone could actually like me, maybe even love me, I'm constantly so down on myself and my insecurity is destructive. I'm feeling vulnerable and alone after a fabulous few days of bliss and beyond all else I'm shit scared. I miss him.
Final note: sodomy has the element of consent, buggery doesn't. Thanks for commenting!
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