Another day, another journal entry...
Some days I think I may have serious mental issues. Sometimes I'm so blissful that I become euphoric nearly to the point of tears. This happens so incredbly rarely, but it does happen to me. And I can't explain it at all. It's just like everything seems right with the world, even thought I know in the back of my head it's not. And I'm not talking about just after sex. This has happened to me several times out in public; shopping, hanging out with friends, etc.
And then, just hours later, I'm down more than I can explain. I'm looking into the abyss, ready to throw myself in, and almost nothing can bring me back. And it's the smallest of things that can bring me there. One little, seemingly insignifcant thing can fuck up my perfect little mood. And then I become impossible to be around.
And this, dear reader, is why I am on an anti-depressant. Except I haven't been on it since I moved. Haven't been able to get my perscription renewed. Kim's car broke down, so all we have is mine. She needs it to get to and from work with. I'm at home, wondering when I'll be able to see the doctor with absolutley nothing to do. I'm still trying to get another bookstore off the ground, but it's going a LOT slower than I had hoped. Seems that every single force in the universe is against it. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. I'm frequently questioning my decision to move out here and stay with Kim. I love her, but I feel like I've lost everything to be with her, and I'll never get it back.
Fuck. I'm a whiney bitch.
In other news, what did you think of the Vice Presidental debate last night? I kept wondering if Cheney's nose would start growing if he told a few more lies. Edwards hit the nail right on the head on a lot of points, I felt, and did a decent job of making Cheney look like the lying fuckhead he is.
Pray for Kerry and Edwards. I don't think America can survive four more years of Dubya and the Reichpublicans.
Some days I think I may have serious mental issues. Sometimes I'm so blissful that I become euphoric nearly to the point of tears. This happens so incredbly rarely, but it does happen to me. And I can't explain it at all. It's just like everything seems right with the world, even thought I know in the back of my head it's not. And I'm not talking about just after sex. This has happened to me several times out in public; shopping, hanging out with friends, etc.
And then, just hours later, I'm down more than I can explain. I'm looking into the abyss, ready to throw myself in, and almost nothing can bring me back. And it's the smallest of things that can bring me there. One little, seemingly insignifcant thing can fuck up my perfect little mood. And then I become impossible to be around.
And this, dear reader, is why I am on an anti-depressant. Except I haven't been on it since I moved. Haven't been able to get my perscription renewed. Kim's car broke down, so all we have is mine. She needs it to get to and from work with. I'm at home, wondering when I'll be able to see the doctor with absolutley nothing to do. I'm still trying to get another bookstore off the ground, but it's going a LOT slower than I had hoped. Seems that every single force in the universe is against it. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I'm doing. I'm frequently questioning my decision to move out here and stay with Kim. I love her, but I feel like I've lost everything to be with her, and I'll never get it back.
Fuck. I'm a whiney bitch.
In other news, what did you think of the Vice Presidental debate last night? I kept wondering if Cheney's nose would start growing if he told a few more lies. Edwards hit the nail right on the head on a lot of points, I felt, and did a decent job of making Cheney look like the lying fuckhead he is.
Pray for Kerry and Edwards. I don't think America can survive four more years of Dubya and the Reichpublicans.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hope you feel better and everything works out.