Bonfuckingjour Punters,
Anywho, back to my old self, here are my unsolicited observations.
What's with bouncers at the pub (bar to my US mates) telling me to go home cause I'm drunk? I've never had a waiter at a restaurant tell me to go home because I looked full.
I walk alot. I like walking. It's a simple expedient that gets me from point A to point B. Walking is not cool these days, everyone drives. Even if it takes longer to drive round the corner, park and get out. Walking is seen as a Herculean effort, peeps in my neighbourhood wear special walking outfits, lycra compression wear to walk the equivalent of 2 kms. It's fucking pathetic. So I walk 20 minutes down the road and peeps are like, OMG Deucey you walked for like, 20 minutes? You must be so tired. No I'm not tired. You fuckers drive to the gym to run for an hour on a fucking treadmill in your little lycra outfits. I walked here at a leisurely pace.
I tried to set up a sharing network for music at my work. I had very little interest which kind of irked me. I called it the' Performers & Entertainers Network for Internet Sharing'. Maybe the acronym put people off.
Now I know that tv is pretty fucking crap. Seriously, Australia has the worst fucking tv shows ever. I am a fist shaking hater of reality fucking shite. Our channel 7 now has a celebrity dive show. Jaysus, newsreaders, and celebrity gardeners doing stupid dives. This coming from a country with celebrity 'guess that fruit', 'celebrity brain surgeon' and 'celebrity hostile siege negotiator'.
I recently bought a black collared shirt. "so what' I hear you say, sew buttons! It took months of casual an non-comitted searching! Men's fashion at the mo is a fucking joke. Is it me or are men becoming smaller and more effeminate? Shit, Ben Sherman's don't even stock large, and the shirt fabrics! *full rant mode initiated*, if you wore those shirts to the RSL (this is an Aussie thing) you'd blend in with the garish carpet. Polka dots? Since when do men who don't work as a circus clown wear polka dots? Is fashion just a sick ruse to emasculate men and replace blokes with stupidly dressed twats in tiny little wine coloured pants?
Which brings me to my next point. Cafes. There's 4 cafes in my street that boast Melbournes best coffee. Now there's no fucking way they all have the best coffee. I suggest a duel to the death between those self important fucktard, stretched eared, skinny jeans wearing, Flock of Seagulls hair dos, just crappy enough ironic t-shirt wearing Barristas. Winner gets to keep the sign. Yes I hate your tude' fuckers, you make coffee. If you ever got your head out of your ass for long enough you'd see there's more to life than pouring milk in a love heart shape in my cup. Your coffee skills aren't curing cancer, so hey, the serious long face is misplaced. So put the lid on my cup and get me a fucking Danish! You have one skill set, coffee, two if you count using tongs to get my Danish.
Anywho, as I always say, society is a sick nag that needs to be put down. Have a great week folks.
Here's some more stuff I like watching and or listening to, you're wlecome.
Los Amigos Invisibles! El Disco ANAL!
Taking a trip here, remember TISM? I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix...
..and hey it's nearly time for the Eurovison song contest, the event which brings together the absolute fucking, god-awful, worst Europe has to offer for one night of terrible entertainment. The only upshot being the irony of watching sexy lingerie clad dancers and hairy ugly Eastern European men singing a ballard about their favorite goat being blown up by a stray soviet era landmine. Here's a taste! What's that? You want something more random than landmines & goats? You want what? A German rapping cowboy in a star spangled white & gold suit wearing platform boots? Well I have just the thing!
Kinda catchy, Hagen dagen dooda duh! Yeah!
OK, let's take a break, don't like polka? You do now fucker! What's that twanging sound? Panties dropping! The guy on the right is a riot!
Alright taking it right back, this guy has charm and passion, I'd throw coinage his way...The song he's singing in translates as 'My Grinder Brings all Bitches in the Yard...'
File this one under, if only he'd used his powers for good instead of evil...
Anywho lastly, the money as far as I'm concerned, ever drink Baileys from a shoe?
Holy crap, you scrolled down this far? Fuck! Well hey, one for the road. I pop this on every couple of months, I love the choreograhed chefs dancing. I want those delightful fuckers right in my front pocket..Yep that's all I got for the mo.
Anywho, back to my old self, here are my unsolicited observations.
What's with bouncers at the pub (bar to my US mates) telling me to go home cause I'm drunk? I've never had a waiter at a restaurant tell me to go home because I looked full.
I walk alot. I like walking. It's a simple expedient that gets me from point A to point B. Walking is not cool these days, everyone drives. Even if it takes longer to drive round the corner, park and get out. Walking is seen as a Herculean effort, peeps in my neighbourhood wear special walking outfits, lycra compression wear to walk the equivalent of 2 kms. It's fucking pathetic. So I walk 20 minutes down the road and peeps are like, OMG Deucey you walked for like, 20 minutes? You must be so tired. No I'm not tired. You fuckers drive to the gym to run for an hour on a fucking treadmill in your little lycra outfits. I walked here at a leisurely pace.
I tried to set up a sharing network for music at my work. I had very little interest which kind of irked me. I called it the' Performers & Entertainers Network for Internet Sharing'. Maybe the acronym put people off.
Now I know that tv is pretty fucking crap. Seriously, Australia has the worst fucking tv shows ever. I am a fist shaking hater of reality fucking shite. Our channel 7 now has a celebrity dive show. Jaysus, newsreaders, and celebrity gardeners doing stupid dives. This coming from a country with celebrity 'guess that fruit', 'celebrity brain surgeon' and 'celebrity hostile siege negotiator'.
I recently bought a black collared shirt. "so what' I hear you say, sew buttons! It took months of casual an non-comitted searching! Men's fashion at the mo is a fucking joke. Is it me or are men becoming smaller and more effeminate? Shit, Ben Sherman's don't even stock large, and the shirt fabrics! *full rant mode initiated*, if you wore those shirts to the RSL (this is an Aussie thing) you'd blend in with the garish carpet. Polka dots? Since when do men who don't work as a circus clown wear polka dots? Is fashion just a sick ruse to emasculate men and replace blokes with stupidly dressed twats in tiny little wine coloured pants?
Which brings me to my next point. Cafes. There's 4 cafes in my street that boast Melbournes best coffee. Now there's no fucking way they all have the best coffee. I suggest a duel to the death between those self important fucktard, stretched eared, skinny jeans wearing, Flock of Seagulls hair dos, just crappy enough ironic t-shirt wearing Barristas. Winner gets to keep the sign. Yes I hate your tude' fuckers, you make coffee. If you ever got your head out of your ass for long enough you'd see there's more to life than pouring milk in a love heart shape in my cup. Your coffee skills aren't curing cancer, so hey, the serious long face is misplaced. So put the lid on my cup and get me a fucking Danish! You have one skill set, coffee, two if you count using tongs to get my Danish.
Anywho, as I always say, society is a sick nag that needs to be put down. Have a great week folks.
Here's some more stuff I like watching and or listening to, you're wlecome.
Los Amigos Invisibles! El Disco ANAL!
Taking a trip here, remember TISM? I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix...
..and hey it's nearly time for the Eurovison song contest, the event which brings together the absolute fucking, god-awful, worst Europe has to offer for one night of terrible entertainment. The only upshot being the irony of watching sexy lingerie clad dancers and hairy ugly Eastern European men singing a ballard about their favorite goat being blown up by a stray soviet era landmine. Here's a taste! What's that? You want something more random than landmines & goats? You want what? A German rapping cowboy in a star spangled white & gold suit wearing platform boots? Well I have just the thing!
Kinda catchy, Hagen dagen dooda duh! Yeah!
OK, let's take a break, don't like polka? You do now fucker! What's that twanging sound? Panties dropping! The guy on the right is a riot!
Alright taking it right back, this guy has charm and passion, I'd throw coinage his way...The song he's singing in translates as 'My Grinder Brings all Bitches in the Yard...'
File this one under, if only he'd used his powers for good instead of evil...
Anywho lastly, the money as far as I'm concerned, ever drink Baileys from a shoe?
Holy crap, you scrolled down this far? Fuck! Well hey, one for the road. I pop this on every couple of months, I love the choreograhed chefs dancing. I want those delightful fuckers right in my front pocket..Yep that's all I got for the mo.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
blk_dynamite:
Geez, you just notched a few more points in my cool book. 
Replying through song is so breathtaking and relieving, because sometimes our words are so precious that we must be careful not to waste them for the sake of empty conversation (not that yours or anyone's has been.) I welcome conversations and greetings when it's meaningful and more than three words, followed by a gang of smiling emoticons. I doubt I'll be reminiscing about family over scotch (as I am not much of an alcohol drinker), perhaps I'll find something equally gratifying. Cheers to you!
Replying through song is so breathtaking and relieving, because sometimes our words are so precious that we must be careful not to waste them for the sake of empty conversation (not that yours or anyone's has been.) I welcome conversations and greetings when it's meaningful and more than three words, followed by a gang of smiling emoticons. I doubt I'll be reminiscing about family over scotch (as I am not much of an alcohol drinker), perhaps I'll find something equally gratifying. Cheers to you!
wolfwood1203:
Almost the perfect sentiment, except if I want to have any hope of being productive I can't quiet my mind... sadly it needs to stay on.