Beunos Dias. Lindas jovenes, queridos! Me hacer una grande madera para ver tus lindas ceurpos...desnudo!
Hehe That's my dodgy Spanish for, um yeah maybe I shouldn't translate...
Anyway fuckers, queridos, amigos, mes potes! Salud, obrigado and all that shit. This is another episode of my life condensed into a motherfucking blog. Enjoy reading it or not, as the case may be, those are your choices.
Bear with me it's a long post, but I pissed myself laughing the whole time I wrote it so fucking read it and enjoy it! ENJOY IT! Don't make me force you!
I don't have a craptastic story, merely shit that's being going on. What's that I hear? You want poop stories? Fine, I'll add one in. As usual being a ticket holding member of this planet ride I have the following observations:*
*These observations are mine and may or may not differ from your or other people you know or don't know's observations.
Firstly this shit happens to me all the time, iPhone random call anxiety. This is when you put your phone in your pocket and it decides to call some random person you should have erased from your contacts. "Awhadafuck?!! *Why did I just answer without checking??!* Who's this?...Returning my call? Oh sorry I didn't call you it was the phone, I had it in my pocket, it called you by itself. Yes the phone. It was the phone...*awkward silence*...so, how's things?"
Poop story, Don't read this if you're against toilet stories and vulgar low brow comparisons. I had a political epiphany the other day. It was Friday the 01/02/2013 for those playing at home. Now this happens to everyone, you're in a public place and suddenly you're crowning. Nothing for it you've got the dog scratching at the door. So anyway, I'm at the men's trying to find a decent clean stall to drop the kids off at the pool and it hits me. Men's public toilets are like the Australian political system, you have two maybe three players all represented by the two or three stalls. Every stall is a breathtaking indictment on the perils of fast food and injudicious consumption of cheap alcohol. And like election time, you're not choosing from two or three equally valid alternatives, you're choosing between the least fucked up, vandalised waste ridden option available.
I'm still off the smokes, it hasn't got easier, That is all I will say on the subject. *Shakes fist at god & men alike. I wish a delightful smoke would materialise right now... Fine be like that imaginary cigarette!, shakes fist again at the heavens* NOT FUCKING SMOKING, THANKS FOR ASKING!
Top tip for those who like me, have stopped smoking and are going cold turkey, ice ice turkey...A pillow when placed firmly across your face makes a great 'spine chilling call the police scream' baffle, yes your neigbours still hear a scream but they just think you're a fucking sicko engaging in some sort of auto-erotic asphyxiation. You're welcome.
He's a pic to break up the text,
Yep that's the only pic.
I have started a monthly awards program at work, the Crispy Golden Chicken in sweet mustard dipping sauce award. Drawn monthly, anyone who's behaviour pleases me gets a ticket, I keep track of it on an xls spread sheet. at the end of the month they get two pieces of crispy fried chicken and sweet mustard dipping sauce. Nothing else! I started this as a joke because I was bored last Wednesday but word has gotten round...It amazes me the lengths people will go for free fried chicken. I get people coming up to me saying "here's those protoypes you asked for how many points is that?' I may even get a blow job or something...haha, maybe not. *A cold wind blows carrying forth tumbleweed unencumbered by roots, a metaphor of my lonely existence...*Fine, thanks cold wind, yes, *tumbleweeds hitting me in the face, wind increases* I'm lonely loser, *increase wind causing tumbleweed to draw blood...* great, yep WTF! THANKS FUCKING METAPHOR! I'm sure you have other points to illustrate! Don't let me keep you.
On the flipside I found out why the production dept's manager asks me all these random questions about history, science etc. They have a fucking pool! They come up with questions to ask me which they think may stump me and bet on the outcome! The pool is up to $350. I'm not allowed to take part. Motherfuckers! *shakes fist*
I uploaded some tracks to Monsieur Stars Blog, for those putting a pineapple on the daily double at Rosehill, Charlie Stars. I forgot how much I liked these tracks, so I have added them for your edification and enjoyment. Enjoy them goddammit! *shakes fist* enjoy, don't make me make you.
Fine that didn't work, strike two Youtube! STRIKE FUCKING TWO!!
OK, lastly, I've decided to use the questionably accurate services of an internet dating site to find a female who may actually have the aberration necessary to find me attractive and viable as a partner. So far I keep getting stumped on my description/slash blurb on who I am. No matter what I write it sounds like I'm either a free puppy going to a caring home or a family sedan that's being sold at a reduced price because it's no longer needed.
So ye-fucking ha, I am planning on enjoying my own company for years to come, I am a delightful motherfucker which does make it easier
. Although, apart from the human contact and intimacy of sex I can certainly live without the malaise of pointless arguments. The recriminations, the inescapable brow beating brought on by wrong answers and careless observations that all indentured males endure. The uneven penalties wrought in personal sadness sustained through the mere incorrect and sometimes unfathomable 'there are no right answer' situations we are put through. Yeah, invisible and unexplained hoops and obstacles and personal landmines we are never advised to steer clear of. Um yeah, being single rocks! Fuck relationships.
Please feel free to validate my observations by giving me a sound and pointless browbeating in the comments section.
Hehe That's my dodgy Spanish for, um yeah maybe I shouldn't translate...
Anyway fuckers, queridos, amigos, mes potes! Salud, obrigado and all that shit. This is another episode of my life condensed into a motherfucking blog. Enjoy reading it or not, as the case may be, those are your choices.
Bear with me it's a long post, but I pissed myself laughing the whole time I wrote it so fucking read it and enjoy it! ENJOY IT! Don't make me force you!
I don't have a craptastic story, merely shit that's being going on. What's that I hear? You want poop stories? Fine, I'll add one in. As usual being a ticket holding member of this planet ride I have the following observations:*
*These observations are mine and may or may not differ from your or other people you know or don't know's observations.
Firstly this shit happens to me all the time, iPhone random call anxiety. This is when you put your phone in your pocket and it decides to call some random person you should have erased from your contacts. "Awhadafuck?!! *Why did I just answer without checking??!* Who's this?...Returning my call? Oh sorry I didn't call you it was the phone, I had it in my pocket, it called you by itself. Yes the phone. It was the phone...*awkward silence*...so, how's things?"
Poop story, Don't read this if you're against toilet stories and vulgar low brow comparisons. I had a political epiphany the other day. It was Friday the 01/02/2013 for those playing at home. Now this happens to everyone, you're in a public place and suddenly you're crowning. Nothing for it you've got the dog scratching at the door. So anyway, I'm at the men's trying to find a decent clean stall to drop the kids off at the pool and it hits me. Men's public toilets are like the Australian political system, you have two maybe three players all represented by the two or three stalls. Every stall is a breathtaking indictment on the perils of fast food and injudicious consumption of cheap alcohol. And like election time, you're not choosing from two or three equally valid alternatives, you're choosing between the least fucked up, vandalised waste ridden option available.
I'm still off the smokes, it hasn't got easier, That is all I will say on the subject. *Shakes fist at god & men alike. I wish a delightful smoke would materialise right now... Fine be like that imaginary cigarette!, shakes fist again at the heavens* NOT FUCKING SMOKING, THANKS FOR ASKING!
Top tip for those who like me, have stopped smoking and are going cold turkey, ice ice turkey...A pillow when placed firmly across your face makes a great 'spine chilling call the police scream' baffle, yes your neigbours still hear a scream but they just think you're a fucking sicko engaging in some sort of auto-erotic asphyxiation. You're welcome.
He's a pic to break up the text,
Yep that's the only pic.
I have started a monthly awards program at work, the Crispy Golden Chicken in sweet mustard dipping sauce award. Drawn monthly, anyone who's behaviour pleases me gets a ticket, I keep track of it on an xls spread sheet. at the end of the month they get two pieces of crispy fried chicken and sweet mustard dipping sauce. Nothing else! I started this as a joke because I was bored last Wednesday but word has gotten round...It amazes me the lengths people will go for free fried chicken. I get people coming up to me saying "here's those protoypes you asked for how many points is that?' I may even get a blow job or something...haha, maybe not. *A cold wind blows carrying forth tumbleweed unencumbered by roots, a metaphor of my lonely existence...*Fine, thanks cold wind, yes, *tumbleweeds hitting me in the face, wind increases* I'm lonely loser, *increase wind causing tumbleweed to draw blood...* great, yep WTF! THANKS FUCKING METAPHOR! I'm sure you have other points to illustrate! Don't let me keep you.
On the flipside I found out why the production dept's manager asks me all these random questions about history, science etc. They have a fucking pool! They come up with questions to ask me which they think may stump me and bet on the outcome! The pool is up to $350. I'm not allowed to take part. Motherfuckers! *shakes fist*
I uploaded some tracks to Monsieur Stars Blog, for those putting a pineapple on the daily double at Rosehill, Charlie Stars. I forgot how much I liked these tracks, so I have added them for your edification and enjoyment. Enjoy them goddammit! *shakes fist* enjoy, don't make me make you.
Fine that didn't work, strike two Youtube! STRIKE FUCKING TWO!!
OK, lastly, I've decided to use the questionably accurate services of an internet dating site to find a female who may actually have the aberration necessary to find me attractive and viable as a partner. So far I keep getting stumped on my description/slash blurb on who I am. No matter what I write it sounds like I'm either a free puppy going to a caring home or a family sedan that's being sold at a reduced price because it's no longer needed.
So ye-fucking ha, I am planning on enjoying my own company for years to come, I am a delightful motherfucker which does make it easier
. Although, apart from the human contact and intimacy of sex I can certainly live without the malaise of pointless arguments. The recriminations, the inescapable brow beating brought on by wrong answers and careless observations that all indentured males endure. The uneven penalties wrought in personal sadness sustained through the mere incorrect and sometimes unfathomable 'there are no right answer' situations we are put through. Yeah, invisible and unexplained hoops and obstacles and personal landmines we are never advised to steer clear of. Um yeah, being single rocks! Fuck relationships. Please feel free to validate my observations by giving me a sound and pointless browbeating in the comments section.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
wolfwood1203:
It was. Driving to school yesterday was fun because of that. But I finally managed a decent sleep.
popet:
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Popet/albums/site/32407/